


The Blackest Dawn

by AmyRoth24



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Arranged Marriage, Child Abuse, Cutting, Dark, Dark Character, Dark Harry Potter, Dark Past, Depression, Drinking, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorders, F/M, Hogwarts, Hope, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Love, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Marriage, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Molestation, Original Character(s), Romance, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Top Harry Potter, Tragic Romance, Young Remus Lupin, Young Severus Snape, Young Sirius Black, potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:44:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5668147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyRoth24/pseuds/AmyRoth24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But we loved with a love that was more than love—I and my Annabel Lee—"...What a love was that? One that felt so strong? She wondered... Sirius pretended the future mapped out before them didn't exist, while Scarlett lived her life completely consumed by it. For years they avoided each other, until they found that they could both find comfort in the others self-destruction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE NOTE,THIS IS ORIGINALLY FORM FANFICTION.NET! I AM TRANSFERRING STORIES OVER! Thanks! :)

 

_**Stay alive** _

_**Heaven holds a place for us tonight** _

_**I am paralyzed** _

_**Close your eyes** _

_**Drive away the cloud that hides the light** _

_**And leave the pain behind** _

_**Dead alive** _

_**Find a way to bury all the lies** _

_**~ "Hollow" by Breaking Benjamin** _

 

Fate seemed to be nothing but like a cruel mother, pretending to nurture and care for you. Only to be slowly poisoning you when you had your guard down.

Scarlett paused for a moment, leaning against the sink area of the kitchen as she placed down her nearly boiling cup of tea down on the counter beside her.

It had been years since Lily and James passing; but it still stung like it had only been yesterday. Scarlett remembered the dread that flowed shockingly through her veins that night...that utterly _horrid_ night.

_She felt nausea come over her that suddenly made it hard for her to breath when she first discovered James. His body lying so horrifyingly sprawled on the stairs._

_Scarlett nearly collapsed right then and there; the sight utterly too much for her to handle. She couldn't believe...couldn't fathom why Sirius had done such a thing! To their friends! His brother!_

_The wailing of their son Harry could be heard from upstairs, breaking her from forgetting about Lily. It was almost like he was calling to her it seemed._

" _I'm sorry, James…" She gulped from behind her hand that covered her mouth as she managed to lunge over his body while making her way up the stairs. Her heart had raced like never before; she felt such despair when she thought of what she might soon discover._

" _Lily!" She screamed, falling to the ground when she finally discovered Lily lying in front of the crib. She stroked her friends beautiful long, red curls as she felt tears flow like a waterfall._

 _How could this have happened? She thought...she thought they would be safe. Sirius promised her...promised them…he was their secret keeper. It just didn't make sense. Sirius would_ _**never**_ _do such a thing...yet here they were, slain like lamb._

" _Scar?" She finally heard one-year-old Harry sniff, snapping her out of her intense mourning for her fallen best friends._

_Scarlett sniffed, wiping tears from under her eye with a trembling hand as she tried to crack a smile. She had to, for Harry she must show strength._

" _Harry, oh Harry! Are you alright?" She finally managed to say. Scarlett quickly rushed over to the crib, scooping Harry into her arms as she wiped his tears from his cheeks._

 _Those eyes..._ _**Lily's eyes** _ _...she thought to herself; urging herself to fight back more tears. She couldn't bare to look into them any longer._

 _Chills ran sporadically down her spine as she clenched Harry tightly to her breast as she stroked his soft black hair..._ _ **James's hair**_ …

" _Don't cry, don't cry…" She cooed softly, more for herself then little Harry._

" _Scarlett, what are you doing here?" She heard a familiar voice ask._

_Stunned,she looked up quickly. Her grip growing even tighter on baby Harry when she saw who it was._

" _How could you Sirius?!" She nearly screamed, tears still refusing to fall._

_Sirius started down solemnly at the sight of Lily's dead body, nearly speechless._

" _It's not what you think...James and I...we changed plans!"_

" _What the_ _ **hell**_ _do you mean you changed plans?_ _ **You were their secret keeper, Sirius!**_ _They trusted you with their lives! Their only son is now left without parents!_ _ **What do you want me to think?**_ "

_Sirius gulped before answering, slowly moving closer towards Scarlett when he saw how close she was to outright losing it._

" _I wasn't their secret keeper...Peter was. We thought it was best to keep that a secret. The weak bastard..._ _**he gave them up, Scarlett!**_ _You must believe me!"_

_Scarlett gulped, clenching Harry tighter than ever. She was at loss for words, completely stunned by this new information. She couldn't understand...didn't understand why Sirius and James would keep such a secret from everyone so close to them._

" _I would_ _ **never**_ _betray Lily and James, Scarlett! I would rather_ _**die!**_ " _Sirius boomed loudly, reaffirming his innocence to Scarlett._

" _Then...why did he do it, Sirius? Why would Peter do such a thing?" she whispered hoarsely, glancing down at the now peacefully sleeping Harry._

_Sirius slowly walked towards her, stroking Harry's cheek as he took in the sight of Lily. "We should leave, I can't be in this place any longer. I can almost feel them...hear them...their screams…" he muttered solemnly, shaking his head rapidly for a brief moment; so desperately trying to rid his mind of the screams._

_She nodded in agreement, "Apparate us out, please...James is on...I couldn't bare to walk over him again…" she occluded._

_And with that, they were suddenly outside of what had been Lily and James home. Scarlett gulped, desperately trying to pry her eyes away from the sight of the daunting home._

" _Hagrid!" Sirius finally exclaimed as there stood none other than the towering Rubeus Hagrid._

" _Good, yer got lil' Arry!" he shouted as he approached the couple._

_Scarlett nodded sadly, placing a finger to her lips to infer he was sleeping._

" _Hagrid, let Dumbledore know Scarlett and I have custody of Harry. Lily and James...they made us the godparents and guardians of him before they…" Sirius choked, unable to say the word._

" _I'm serry ya two, I have strict orders from Dumbledore himself...Harry is to live with his muggleborn aunt and uncle. There ain't nothin I can do about it...I'm surpossed to take him now, you see…"_

" _Dumbledore can't be serious! Were his godparents! What the bloody hell is he thinking?" Sirius fumed._

" _Sirius...if that's what Dumbledore wants...we must respect those wishes…"_

" _What about James and Lily's wishes!"_

" _They would understand...I don't want to give him up either Sirius but...what else can we do?" Scarlett murmured, placing a soft and light kiss on the sleeping Harry's forehead._

" _Well...if you must, take my motorcycle...I insist!" Sirius pleaded, pointing to a motorcycle that was parked towards the gate entrance. "It's enchanted by magic, it flies. You'll get wherever you need to go much faster."_

" _Thank yer Sirius...Lily and James...good people they were...it just isn't right…" Hagrid gritted, small tears forming below his beady eyes._

_Scarlett nodded, silence seemingly her best weapon in preventing herself from completely losing it in a time like this._

" _Scarlett...Harry...needs to go now…" Sirius mumbled, extending his arms out to receive baby Harry from her arms._

_She gulped, fearing greatly for the child's life as she gently placed him in Sirius's arms. She felt her heart sink lower, the pain of seeing Harry tossed off to Lily's non-magical family was utterly indescribable._

_She could only pray he would have a good life wherever he was to go...and someday he would return to this world of enchantment. Where she would most certainly be waiting for him._

_She felt Sirius take her hand into his, cupping her cheek with his strong hands. Inferring he wanted her to look directly into his eyes._

_Ice blue eyes met intoxicating grey ones. For just a moment, no words were needed between them. Sirius pulled her into his chest, only then did she allow the tears she clung so desperately to earlier fall._

_She trembled like an earthquake in his arms, the shock was too much. Scarlett had tried, tried so desperately to keep herself from falling apart tonight. But now...there was no holding back the tsunami of emotions she felt escaping her tight grasp._

_Scarlett felt Sirius's lips meet her forehead, she felt him slowly pull himself away. A sure warning sign there was something else he needed to say._

" _I need to find Peter, Scarlett. I need to find him, I need to understand…" he murmured, giving her still shaking hand one last kiss._

" _Sirius…" was all Scarlett could manage to say, choking on her own words, barely able to speak._

" _Go home for now, be safe. I'll be home soon...alright, love?"_

_She nodded, and with a flash of light he was gone. Never in a million years would she have guessed that would be the last time she would see her husband as a free man._

Scarlett nearly choked at the very memory, trembling as if it had happened all over. The trauma at the remembrance of that night never seeming to release its grip on her soul. She shakily tried reaching for her tea cup again, raising it to her lips she grimaced in disgust. Her memories seemed to have distracted her for longer than she thought.

Pouring the cold tea down the drain, she suddenly heard a knock at the door.

"Now who on earth could that be?" she asked herself as she made her way to the front door. Slowly opening the door, she gasped when she saw who it was.

"Sirius…" she whispered, her jaw dropped. Her hand covered her mouth as she gasped loudly in shock.

Scarlett couldn't believe her eyes, there he was. Dog form and all, just as shaggy and black as ever. Panting heavily as those same grey eyes stared up at her, seeming dimmer than the last she saw them.

Within an instant he transformed, pushing himself quickly into the doorway while he changed back into his human form.

Scarlett stared in pure shock when she observed the man he now was. He still wore his dirty and torn Azkaban uniform. Sirius looked so thin and frail, haunted and tormented.

"I thought you were...how did you-" she stuttered, absolutely at loss for words.

Sirius slumped down the side of the wall in the doorway, utterly exhausted.

"I finally...finally got enough strength to go back to my animagus form...damn dementors couldn't detect me." he grunted, "I've missed you...I've missed your pretty face, love…"

Anger suddenly emerged from deep within Scarlett.

"Don't give me that utter crap, Black! You left me here! Alone!" she shouted, her fists clenching and unclenching as she debated if she could get a good punch in.

Sirius chuckled as he began drifting in and out of sleep.

"I've missed that too…" he managed joke groggily.

Scarlett clicked her tongue while shaking her head. Murmuring a simple levitation spell she tried her best to fight back tears of joy while moving him smoothly to the bedroom.

She couldn't believe...after all these years...he would come back to her. None the less a convicted felon!

 _Damn you, Black!_ she scolded in her mind as she carefully laid her husband to rest on the bed.

"I've missed you too, bastard…" Scarlett muttered softly as she flicked her wand quickly, ridding him of his condemning clothing. She stroked his hair so lovingly, utterly breathless at how he came back after all these years. Such long years...so lost she was without him.

Yet, never would she admit that to him ever. But, here he was again...crashing so abruptly into her life as he always did. And she would never let him go again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey there! Thank you so much for reading this story! Decided to give this another try! PLEASE NOTE! This is a prologue and insight to the sequel I have planned out for this story! Wanted to show my readers the direction I am going in! MUCH MORE TO COME! Thank you so much everyone for your support! AND PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I love them! Let me know what you think! Thank you so much! :)


	2. Prologue

 

 _**"Confession is always weakness. The grave soul keeps its own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence."** _  
_**~ Dorothea Dix** _

Scarlett slowly twirled at a random blue hair strand. She sighed to herself as she began tuning her best friend, Lily Evans,out as she chatted away about how excited she was that Slughorn would be teaching potions this year. She focused fiercely on the black diamond ring she wore on her finger. The ring itself was pure black diamond, with smaller silver diamonds lining the ridge of the black gold band.

Black, Black, and Black, everything Black. _A reminder_ she thought, _to show her who owned her_.

She grimaced in disgust as she thought back to how many compliments she had received for it. So many other girls had expressed their envy and longing for it, believing it was just a mere display of her family's wealth and status within the pure-blood community.

She scoffed, what fools some people are, she thought.

She exhaled deeply while drumming her fingers on the table in annoyance. Her ice blue eyes shifted across the room towards the famous Marauders as they all laughed in unison, out of the four in the group, Black most particularly caught her eye. No one could deny how good looking he was, the way his shaggy midnight hair made his look complete, the way his hazel eyes glistened when he laughed, and his physique was simply on point.

Any girl would be considered insane if they denied how good looking Sirius Black was, almost every girl at Hogwarts swooned desperately before him, none thinking about how simply ridiculous they looked. Yet, these were the girls herself and Lily mocked so effortlessly, barley trying to hide the fact they found it utterly amusing how many girls kept getting turned down by him.

Despite all the laughter and hysterics the two girls shared, they both knew the cold truth to the matter, they were both betrothed to one another. She understood Sirius's act of being a man looking for nothing more than a hookup was nothing more than a big facade, an act of defiance of the inevitable in a sense. Whenever the two made eye contact,they knew they were each others future. The only sure thing in each of their lives was they would inevitably spend the rest of them together.

The only thing she could remember about the arrangements was her mother's dying death wish was to have her father promise that their daughter would be ensured a bright future. It seemed her horrid father had his own definition of what a bright future was,

"Scarrrrrrrlet? Scarrrrrlet?"

"What?" She murmured, her eyes fluttering in an attempt to snap herself out of daydreaming.

"Sirius is being a git and winking at you!" Lily whispered, warning Scarlett of the laughter that was to come. She was the only one other than her and Sirius that knew of the engagement. Lily was her best friend, the only one she confided in. When the questions started rolling of the oddity that neither of the two seemed interested in really dating the truth seemed to just pour out of her.

She remembered how red with fury Lily turned, the way her flaming auburn air seemed to flair and how her peach lips curled with disgust. She recalled how Lily had pleaded, begging her with a whisper, "Isn't there something you can do?"

Scarlett had merely shook her head solemnly, trying to hold in her tears the best any eleven year old could, "It's already been decided…" she had murmured softly.

The obnoxious sounds of Sirius and James howling with laughter suddenly shook her from her deep thoughts again, she scowled at Sirius when James slapped his mate's arm as a sure sign of approval. She rolled her eyes, praying Professor Slughorn would arrive any minute to calm the class down.

"Hey Scarlett!" James shouted, still chuckling with laughter.

Scarlett's ice blue eyes narrowed, she was quite used to their childish antics. Life seemed to be nothing more than one big joke to Sirius, the only one who seemed to have a sense of responsibility in the group was Remus. Black seemed quite content to make her life miserable, always flashing her winks. Always harassing her with flirtatious comments when possible.

Before she knew it, James flicked his wand, creating pink heart shaped bubbles that zoomed her way, causing her eyes to widen in panic.

"What the fu-" Scarlett began to gasp,only to be met with the bubbles smashing into her face.

"Sirius loves Scarlett, Scarlett loves Sirius!" A childish voice sang as they popped in her face.

"Oh my-" Lily murmured, flicking her wand to clean the pink goo left on Scarlett's furious face.

Suddenly the entire class roared with laughter, Scarlett's cheeks slowly turned bright red. She simmered with anger, doing everything in her power to resist the urge to jinx the living daylights out of Sirius and James.

"Now everyone settle down!" A voice boomed as the door was burst open. It was Professor Slughorn, finally he decided to make an appearance.

"Glad you could make it professor!" James snorted, earning a snort even from Remus.

Slughorn chuckled, he always seemed to have a soft spot for the marauders, "Not to worry, not to worry. Had to resolve a matter with Dumbledore. Now, I will be assigning potions partners for you! There will be no arguing over this! And absolutely no changes either!"

Scarlett heard Lily groan, she hated the possibility of knowing she would have to work with someone other than Scarlett. Lily and Scarlett worked well together, usually teaming up on everything in every class; always receiving top marks.

Her and Lily waited anxiously as each pair was called, slowly one by one possible pairings were eliminated, causing dawn's heart to race faster each second.

"Lily Evans and James Potter!"

Scarlett nearly choked on the air as she breathed in, James and Lily? Oh this was going to be good, she thought, breathing out in an attempt to keep herself from bursting into hysterics.

"And finally, Scarlett and Sirius!"

She heard Lily snort, she swiftly turned towards her friend, flashed her a look so scary, she could even give Proffesor McGonagall a run for her money. Lily giggled nervously, shrugging apologetically as she made her way slowly to James. She groaned, what a way to spend the year, paired with the person who's mission in life was to make hers miserable.

"So, seeing that you're looking like you won't be making your way to my side of the room any time soon, I thought I'd join you on your side!" She heard Sirius chuckle as he pulled himself up a chair.

"Must you?" She sighed, resisting the urge to scream in agony at the absurdity this situation was.

"Am I really that bad?" He asked,the look he had on his face as he patiently awaited her to answer made it difficult for Scarlett to determine if he was joking as usual, or if he was proposing an actual question to her.

She took this moment to honestly analyze Sirius for the moment, she took in the way he stared at her, the way he seemed to have lost some sleep and even grown paler since the last time she had seen him. Stress, she concluded. She remembered how brutal Orion and Walburga were towards Sirius, believing him to be an utter shame and embarrassment to the Black family name.

"You look sleep deprived, Black…" she whispered as she listened to Slughorn ramble on about their first potions assignment for the week.

She heard him chuckle to himself, typical Sirius, always avoiding being pensive when it came to his own well being.

She shook her head, she could never understand how he always found humor in everything, always finding the light in the dark. She grimaced, the fact her life had been dictated by before she could fathom what marriage was always haunted her, looming over her like a dark, brooding cloud that could never be shooed away.

It amazed Scarlett how Sirius could live his life so carefree, liberated from that dark cloud that seemed to haunt her whole being. The way he laughed and joked around without any care, pretending the future mapped out before them didn't exist. She resented the fact he appeared to being living his life so carefree, while she lived completely wrapped in it.

_"You're going to make this family mean something again...becoming a Black will be a blessing you'll be thanking me for the rest of your life..." Her father whispered, his hands slowly rising up her legs._

_She gulped, at eight years old she had gotten used to her father toying with her like this, always touching and grooming her...wanting her to touch him back._

"Scarlett? Did you catch what the project was?" Sirius asked, his hand waving furiously in front of Scarlett's face to snap her out of her day dream, a thing she seemed to be dwelling a lot in lately.

He watched her once neutral daze change into a scowl, irritated at his annoying antics. He smirked to himself, she was so easy to irritate. He knew she resented him, she had made that all too obvious.

Sirius stared at the girl so analytically, only seeing her in classes and as the passed through the halls; maybe in the Gryffindor common room if he was lucky.

Her once pure white hair had since been charmed with blue streaks, exemplifying her bright blue eyes. Her once rosy cheeks were now hollow and pale, the aura of innocence that once surrounded her entire being was now gone, replaced with a feeling of dread. Scarlett appeared to have lost a bit of weight since he saw her during the summer, something that caused a rare streak of concern in Sirius.

"No, I didn't. I was hoping you would for once Black..." she muttered back, biting her lip in an attempt to keep herself from laughing at the utter look of pretend shock Sirius wore, pretending to be offended by her remarks.

"I listen! I am so offended right now!" he snorted, passing her the notes he had taken while Slughorn dragged on about the potion that would take a good month to brew.

Scarlett accepted the notes with much doubt in her heart, Sirius never appeared to be one to give the teacher all the attention, let alone to take notes.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she skimmed over all the notes he had taken, "I hate to admit this Black, but I'm rather impressed..." she murmured to herself, tossing the notes back to Sirius.

"Uh huh, I'm not just all looks, love." Sirius winked, "So, we'll meet at the library later? After dinner?"

Scarlett opened her mouth in protest, the last thing she wanted was the have to endear a night with Black. Before she could give her answer, she noticed Lily hurriedly making her way towards her, breaking away from James as soon as Slughorn dismissed class.

"Good grief, this is going to be a tough project with Potter…" she growled, "Are you ready for lunch, Scarlett?"

Scarlett grimaced, _food?_ she thought. Food...memories flooded into her mind at the very word.

_"I can expect you will stay nice and pretty for me? Yeah?" he father had murmured so eerily into her hair as she waited to be sent of to the Blacks for the rest of the summer before school._

_She chose not answer, not sure what to say. She had grown so used to her father's use of her, she would simply close her eyes and steady her breathing, doing whatever was asked of her._

_"That includes staying thin, don't stuff yourself silly!" he had then growled, yanking tightly of the hair, "You always do that when you go away, and then I have to keep all the damn food locked away from you when you come home!"_

_He then loosened his grip on her hair, resorting back to twirling it softly between his fingers._

_"Just stay beautiful for me, okay princess?" he had whispered into her ear when he saw the Blacks approaching the house._

"I think I'll go the library and study, I'm really not the hungry yet." she murmured to herself, gathering up her books and school bag, scrambling to leave the classroom as fast as she could, leaving a concerned Lily and Sirius behind.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WELL HERE IS THE OFFICIAL CHAPTER TWO! I hope it wasn't too bad, and I will continue to work on this story despite its utter failure at getting attention! hahaha I know I may not be the best writer...and I possess no talent whatsoever, but if you like what you read, please let me know! I have a lot planned for this story! Even a sequel that takes place when Sirius breaks out! So, if you like please please please review! I love them! Thanks! Will update soon!

 

" _ **Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse for impossibility, for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible."**_

_**~Thomas A. Kempis** _

Sirius slowly scanned the dining hall, searching for Scarlett. Of course he knew she had said she wasn't hungry and she would be studying. But, he couldn't understand how the girl could say something like that when she hadn't even eaten breakfast. Sirius wasn't even quite sure if Scarlett had eaten dinner last night either. Sirius frowned, she had been doing a lot of that lately, avoiding meals throughout the day.

"What's troubling you mate?" James asked, mouth full of toast.

Sirius shook his head, shaking off the thoughts of Scarlett. He would have the rest of his life to worry about her once they were married, why start now?

"Is it Scarlett?" Peter asked softly, afraid he would strike a nerve in Sirius with the very mention of her name.

Remus sighed, why couldn't they clearly see this was not a conversation Padfoot wanted to be having with them. "Good grief, let Padfoot be! Can't you see he obviously doesn't want to talk about it?"

Sirius nodded in agreement, beginning to nibble on his toast. Suddenly a hot flash ran through his body, taking him by surprise. _Damn, having to wear these long sleeves under my robes_ , he cursed to himself softly. Wearing these long sleeves allowed Sirius to remain in control, his utter inner-hatred and self-loathing kept locked away tight.

He watched James babble on carefree, _so lucky he is_ , he thought. James would never have to know what it was like to be hated by your parents, despised for simply being who you were, for being a Gryffindor. What it was like to have to give up a chance at deciding your future simply because of your bloodline. Yes,Sirius envied James so, he just would never show it.

"Go find her…" Moony offered with a soft smile, wisdom and reason were his expertise.

Padfoot smiled softly, nodding in thanks before dashing off to find Scarlett.

"She's not even my wife yet and she already has be chasing after her!" he whispered to himself with a chuckle as he made his way with haste to the library.

Sirius dashed as fast as he could towards the library, nearly plowing through several first years in the process.

"Sorry mates" he shouted hurriedly, "trying to get somewhere!"

"Black! Slow down!" He heard Professor McGonagall screech as he nearly knocked her wand out of her hand while running by.

"Sorry Professor no time!" He shouted, he had no clue what his real hurry was it why for the first time in his life he felt so anxious to see the girl he was forced to marry. Sirius normally had a habit of spending his days chasing other girls, playing quidditch with James, and studying with Remus and Peter.

For the first time in his life he truly felt intrigued by this girl, curious to what she really thought about life. Interested in what was running through her mind, see who she really was; not who she pretended to be.

"So, it appears you weren't lying…" he chuckled as he made his way to the table where he found Scarlett buried within her books.

"Go away Sirius, I haven't the mental capacity to handle your obnoxiousness right now…" she murmured, not even bothering to look up from her mountainous stack of books.

"What? I'm sorry, couldn't hear you from behind all these books!" Sirius shouted, beginning to take the books one by one down from her giant stack that surrounded her.

"Sirius!" she squeaked, leaping out of her seat to grab the books back from Sirius. "Keep your voice down!"

Sirius just chucked softly, pretending to give her the books back, only making them hover way over her head when she tried to reach them.

"Sirius!" Scarlett hissed, struggling to counter his spell, "this isn't a joke!"

"Come to dinner." he then said sternly, his once gleaming smiling face now struck with stern expression.

Grey eyes met ice blue ones, time seemed to stand still. Scarlett stared in shock, unable to prevent her mouth from gaping. Sirius? Concerned? Demanding she eat dinner? How dare he!

Scarlett was fuming, "How dare you! You're not my parent! I'm not some child you can just order around and expect it to be done!"

Sirius let the harsh words sink in, utterly confused by the sudden outburst Scarlett displayed, simply because he asked her to eat.

"What audacity you have Black, coming up here to act like a child with me. Preventing me from studying in order to demand I go and _eat_!" she hissed, the word eat rolling off her tongue like pure poison.

"Fine." Sirius spat, "I came to honestly make sure you were okay. You seem to be shrinking these days and I thought I'd try to help...after all. That's what husbands do right?" he added with a low whisper, making a slow turn to leave the conversation at that.

Scarlett's fury began to subside at these words, she felt her inner rage begin to shrink. She felt horrible for being so rude, so rash. She had always seemed to be a little on edge lately, her inner hunger always made her take a lean on having a foul mood.

"Sirius! Make sure you care for those wounds…" she murmured while gathering up her books, earning a look of pure shock from Sirius.

"What-" he started to ask, utterly surprised she knew about them. Sirius believed he had done a good job covering them up, hiding them from all.

"I noticed...the same way you noticed me Sirius…" Scarlett interrupted mysteriously, rushing past Sirius.

Sirius stared at her scurrying figure, her words running through his mind over and over.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Scarlett hastily made her way down the cold corridor, feeling her anxiety rise as she ran her encounter with Sirius over and over in her mind. Her outburst was quite unlike her usual self, and she was rather well accustomed to Sirius antics by now, so why blow up now?

She felt rather ashamed of herself, embarrassed by her knee-jerk reaction. However, at the same time; Sirius had quite the nerve. Demanding things from her, using the word _husband_ also didn't do him any favors. She sighed as she clenched her books closer to her chest as she drew closer to the Gryffindor common room. She smiled to herself as she spotted the fat lady in the distance. It was her sanctuary, her own safe haven at best.

"Hey Letty!" she heard a familiar voice sneer loudly.

She felt her smile shatter to an utter sneer at the mention of the horrid twist on her nickname, only one would ever dare to use it. She slowly turned around to face the offender, "Why hello to you too, Bellatrix."

"Oh my dear, what have you done to your hair!" Bellatrix sneered as she made her way closer to Scarlett, Narcissa at her side as usual. "My, My, Auntie is not going to like this…" she tisked as she reached to grab a strand of Scarlett's blue hair. "Wouldn't you agree Narcissa?"

Narcissa shook her head coldly, keeping her status of Ice Queen in check. "Auntie would not approve…" she admitted bluntly.

"What do I care what she thinks?" Scarlett hissed, slapping Bellatrix's hand away from her hair. "It's my hair, I can do as I please…"

Bellatrix suddenly burst into laughter. A laugh so horrid and insane, a laugh that could never be forgotten.

"Scarlett…" she seethed, finally recovering from her hideous laughter. "I see you have much to learn about being a Black. However…" she stated darkly, "I suggest you start appreciating the generosity our family has extended yours. You should consider yourself beyond lucky you are to marry my pitiful cousin. Otherwise, you'd be nothing more than a washed up pureblood…"

Scarlett felt her jaw begin to clench, her fists starting to tighten. She felt the same rage she had towards Sirius building up again. This time she'd have no regrets at what she would unleash upon the two Black sisters.

"Well, if you ask me, you're the last person I should be taking hair advice from. If you don't watch yourself, Dumbledore may confuse you with an escapee from Azkaban with that crazed look you're sporting." she sneered with a grin, making it known she would be the one to get the last word as she felt her wrath subside at the facial expressions the two girls wore at her words.

"And by the way…" she started as she made her way back to the Fat Lady, "At least I'm guaranteed a husband!" she giggled as Bellatrix fumed. "Couldn't say the same for you Trixi!"


	4. Chapter 3

 

_**"We're all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life."** _

_**~Tennessee Williams** _

_Faster_

_Lengthen Your Stride_

_Reach for it_

_Breathe In_

_Breathe Out_

_Faster_

Demands flooded through Scarlett's mind as she paced herself around the Quidditch field, her heart was racing. Only one thing was on her mind, burning all fat to nothing. Running made her feel good, made her feel alive. Empowered her to feel like she could take on the whole world by herself. She glanced at her watch, just turned 6 a.m.

"Only two laps to go…" she groaned to herself as she widened her stride once more.

" _Make sure you stay nice and pretty for me, Letta."_

" _You know how much I love your blonde curls, reminds me of your mother..."_

" _Watch how you stuff your face when you're away…"_

"Words...just words…" she nearly choked to herself, bracing herself for her final lap, "Just a little further, then I'll be fine…"

She was nearly there, she could feel that last second adrenaline bursting through her veins, pushing her to run faster. Would she really be okay when she stopped running though? Was this all really worth it? Every morning she dragged herself at the crack of dawn, no matter the weather. Ready to run her ass completely off, pushing herself beyond her limits.

Every morning she woke up, hearing her father's words over and over again in her head, Every morning she could feel his hands on her, sending chills down her spine. She simply had no choice, it was a compulsion, something she HAD to do.

To feel clean again was her only want, to get her through the day. To get her through the reality of what was to come, her future as a Black.

"Oi, Scarlett! What the bloody hell are you doing?" she heard a voice yell from a distance.

She panted, pausing in confusion to who was yelling at her. She glanced around the field hazily, her vision blurred. She could see a familiar shaped figure in the distance, slowly making their way towards her. It looked a lot like "Sirius…" she groaned under her breath,

"Scarlett, you look like death. What the hell are you doing out here so early running around?" Sirius demanded, analyzing her panting figure; clearly beyond winded. She looked so frail and pale, her cheekbones so prominent and red from the wind.

"None of your damn business, Black." Scarlett hissed, shoving her way past Sirius, eager to be alone once again.

"C'mon Scarlett, why are you always so disagreeable towards me?"

"Disagreeable?" she hissed, turning around hastily to face Sirius once again, her heart rate slowly going back to normal. "Maybe because you're an obnoxious prick who never knows when to mind his own business!", jabbing her bony finger at his chest. "I have the rest of my damn life to put up with you, why can't you just let me have a few years of peace!"

"So I'm obnoxious and a prick because I actually care about you?" Sirius snapped back.

"Sirius! Don't do that to me! You know good and well the only reason you're concerned with me. I let you have your demons, now let me have mine!"

Sirius paused for a moment,  _demons?_  he thought.  _How could she possibly know his secrets?_  "Demons?" he scoffed, "What the hell are you talking about, Scarlett?"

Anger burst through Scarlett's veins, urging her to yank up Sirius's sleeves, revealing numerous scars, haunting her every being. Yet, she stayed firm on the point she was making. She knew what he was hiding, all she wanted was to be left alone to her own self demise. Couldn't he understand that at least?

The two stared at each other in silence, an out right rarity whenever the two were in the same space. Ice blue eyes met grey ones, for a moment, it seemed there a mutual understanding between the two. For just a moment, words were not needed. No more anger, no more bickering. Just the sound of the wind breezing by as the two stood in silence.

"Scarlett, how did-" he murmured, stunned by her knowledge.

"Because Sirius, you can't fool everyone anymore…" she murmured back, turning her back to make her exit.

"Scarlett! Wait!" he exclaimed, running to catch up to her, stopping once he was able to physically stop her from walking any further. His hands resting firmly on her shoulders, in an attempt to make her listen to him for a second.

"What your doing to yourself...I don't understand, why are you so thin? Why are you working yourself out to death? You know my secret, now tell me yours…"

 _Thin?_ she wondered,  _How on earth can he call me thin?_  she asked herself, completely zoned out to all reality.

"Scarlett?" Sirius asked, waiting anxiously for something to come out of her mouth.

"I have to go, I don't know what you mean Sirius. I'm perfectly fine, please let me go." she said to robotically, slowly slipping out from under his fingertips

"Scarlett, you can't honestly think you can pull something like that and just walk away!?" Sirius demanded, his firm tightening as he prevented her from moving the best he could.

Scarlett grimaced under his firm touch; "Sirius, that hurts. Please let me go, nothing is wrong with me, honestly. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone your little secret."

Sirius slowly lifted his grip on her shoulders, he could notice small bruises forming as Scarlett angrily checked under the neckline of her t shirt. How could she have bruised so easily? His touch was firm but it was by no means aggressive.

"Scarlett, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Don't worry about it…" she groaned as she pushed past Sirius while she rubbed her throbbing shoulders. "I'm used to it…" she muttered as she made her way back to her dormitory.


	5. Chapter 4

 

**_"No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks."_ **

**_~ Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley_ **

"Scarlett, what the bloody hell are you doing up so early?" Lily yawned, shocked to see Scarlett dressed in yoga pants and a giant sweatshirt, scrambling her books together.

"Nothing Lily, just a morning workout before class." she muttered, nearly on the brink of her sanity trying to find all her scattered textbooks and notes.

"You mean breakfast?" Lily giggled, slowly sliding herself out of bed.

Scarlett scoffed, finishing off her school bag."No, no. Already ate, need to hit the library before Ancient Runes...major test…"

"Are you sure? I haven't seen you-"

"Yup! Positive! Gonna take a shower now!"

Lily frowned as she saw her best friend disappear into the bathroom. Scarlett was nothing but constantly disappearing and then reappearing these days. Scarlett always seemed to be preoccupied, always on the move. Always so avoidant, and so quick to answer any speculative questions.

Lily was so entranced by staring into space, thoughts so deep while pondering towards what her best friend had become; she had almost missed Scarlett dashing out of the bathroom. She observed her more prominent bony figure wrapped tightly with a towel. She watched as Scarlett hurriedly dressed into her school robes, using a quick drying spell on her hair. She watched as her friend grimaced as she faced the mirror to apply her makeup.

Since the start of the new school year, Lily had observed these seemingly simple, yet enticingly odd behaviors Scarlett displayed. She watched as Scarlett began scrambling out of the dorm, barely managing a goodbye as she disappeared.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Sirius watched in awe as crimson blood dripped slowly from his arm, hot water rinsing it quickly down the drain as he stood in complete statute form in the shower.

He felt completely engulfed by his inner darkness, anxiety rising slowly in his heart as he began to fear for what the future held.

Scarlett, his wife to be, was slowly shrinking away before his own eyes; consumed by her own internal darkness. Her ice blue eyes so reflective of her inner turmoil, yet, she still revealed nothing of the sort verbally.

Yet here he was, literally slicing his feelings away. Mourning the loss of his childhood, smothered in his own self pity and loathing. Feeling so weak and distraught over his inability to get answers from Scarlett.

_You're weak Sirius!_

_Be a man Sirius!_

_Sirius, such an utter disgrace to the Black family name…_

_What a shame you had to be sorted in such a joke of a house, what an utter embarrassment you are!_

"Sirius! When will you be done! I've been holding this piss in for hours!" he suddenly heard James moan obnoxiously.

Sirius snorted, quickly washing away any evidence he had bled in the shower, allowing his previous anxiety to subside for the moment; replaced with his perfectly crafted mask he had perfected ages ago.

"James, there is no way in hell you could hold your bladder for that long!" Sirius shouted back as he turned the water off, his laughter echoing against the tiles in the bathroom.

"Okay, got me there mate...maybe thirty minutes tops?" James pleaded, "But have mercy man, let me in!"

Sirius chuckled as he performed a quick healing spell on his arm, then quickly changing into his school robes before he would let James in the bathroom.

"This isn't a joke anymore Sirius! I'm almost a grown man, and now I may have to subject myself to pissing my pajamas! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"

"What's the magic word then, Prongs?" Sirius cooed through the door, milking every second of the torture he inflicted on James.

"SIRIUS!"

"Uh no, try again, Prongs!"

"PADFOOT, ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!"

"No, I am not! I refuse to exit the restroom until you demonstrate proper manners! Thus, proceed with the magic word, my dear Prongs!"

"PLEASE, SIRIUS!"

"If you insist…" Sirius grinned, slowly opening the door for James. James suddenly dashed in as fast as he could, nearly ramming the door right in Sirius's face.

"Dammit James, you nearly broke my nose!" Sirius groaned to himself as he slammed the bathroom door behind him, leaving James to do his business in peace.

"Everything alright, Padfoot?" Remus asked softly as he looked up from the book he was devouring when he saw Sirius approaching the room once again. "You look paler than usual…" he observed.

In fact, Sirius seemed to be greatly paler than usual this year. His dark, delicate features he usually so often envied, now becoming more prominent with his more ghostly skin. The way he moved was usually so delicate, so rhythmic in nature. A type of demeanor that made most girls gush with excitement. Sirius now seemed more slower in his movements, more hesitant. So unsure, always seemingly to second guess himself. Not just with his walk, but with everything lately. Sirius even appeared to giving even Remus a run for his money when it came to studying and grades.

"Yeah, just nearly got my nose broke by James smashing the door in my face. Other than that though, everything is just fine." Sirius joked, beginning to prepare his books and scrolls for the day.

"Well, to be fair. you did take forever in the bathroom…" Wormtail piped in softly.

Remus nodded in agreement, returning his gaze back towards his book. Placing his observations of Sirius on the shelf for the moment.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Sirius looked around the dining hall frantically, searching for any sign of his blue haired mystery.

"Looking for Scarlett?" Lily asked as she took a seat next to where Sirius stood. She helped herself to some scrambled eggs and bacon, sprinkling shredded cheese lightly on her eggs as she awaited his answer.

"How did you know? He asked with a heavy sigh. Defeated in not being able to spot Scarlett, he finally took a seat for himself. There wasn't any sign of his fellow marauders either, so chatting with Lily couldn't hurt to pass the time? Right?

"I know everything, Sirius!" She replied mysteriously, sipping her orange juice.

Sirius stared at Lily in shock, nearly ready to panic in the question of how much she knew.

Lily nearly choked on her eggs when she took in Sirius's expression; "Sirius, it was a joke…"

Sirius's panic subsided, replaced with a rare expression of embarrassment.

Lily suddenly cleared her throat, searching for the right words to express the next thing she wanted to ask. She put down her fork, studying her plate for a few moments, carefully organizing the next words she was about to speak

"Sirius...can I ask you something?" She finally asked, "without you getting angry or taking offense?"

Sirius nodded slowly, curious to hear what Lily Evans could possibly want to know from him, Sirius Black.

Lily then took a deep breath, eyes closed before she began to speak once again.

"How do you guys do it?" She finally blurted, "How can you two go through life knowing you had no choice?"

Sirius was once again shocked by Lily, yet oddly intrigued by what possibly could bring on such questions.

"We cope...I guess…" He answered bluntly, not sure exactly how to answer the question. He knew what  _his_  answer was, what  _his_  release was. The very thing that made his mind and body so numb he forgot about all reality for what felt like a lifetime in those mere minutes.

On the other hand, Scarlett seemed to capture the very essence of an enigma; he could not speak for her just yet.

"You like her…" Lily answered back swiftly, wearing such a smug smile on her face it was nearly impossible to argue back with her.

But Sirius tried anyways; "where the bloody hell would you get an idea like that, Evans."

Lily chucked, "the way you look at her...the way you're always chasing after her. Making sure she's alright...you're clearly obsessed, Sirius! A girl's best friend notices these things, and it's our job to chase those bad boys away! But, I guess in this case I can't, so consider yourself lucky, Black!"

Sirius sighed, there was clearly no fooling Lily here. He had to give her props, she had great observation skills, that or he wasn't that great at hiding his growing liking towards Scarlett. Either way she found him out, a most uncomfortable situation indeed.

"Well, I guess you're kind of right. She's something else that's for sure…" He finally stated as he stared in the direction towards the slytherin table. He watched as his brother Regulus appeared to be in serious conversation with Lucius, Narcissa and Bellatrix. A most distasteful trio if you asked him.

Dread flooded through his veins, flashes of his brother joining the so called "Death Eaters" raced through his mind; the morbid and dark future that seemed to loom before his brother.

Regulus, so eager to please. Entirely set on being the "go to" guy for everyone, staying his parents favorite. Everything Sirius sometimes wished he could be, but his inner sense of morality forbid it.

Silent panic and division seemed to be sweeping through the wizarding world lately, the rise of Voldemort was becoming more prominent. Nearly everyone seemed to be taking sides, families becoming divided. Relationships and friendships slowly breaking away to dust. The idea of muggles and mudbloods being such a nuisance and hindrance on wizarding society was indeed a hot topic and fronted Voldemort's propaganda. A clear attempt to win over the majority of the pure blooded community.

Sirius grimaced as Lily's mindless chatter fell into the background; his only focus was Regulus. Regulus...the son he should have been.

 _"You're our families future!"_  Orion had said,  _"Joining Voldemort is the best decision you could make!"_

His brother appeared to be doomed to be nothing but a mere servant; enslaved to overrated and unjust beliefs. Something more of a sinister cult if you asked him. Regulus refused to listen to any possible reasoning Sirius brought forth to him, seemingly sealing his own fate. Not even bothering with any second thoughts.

"Sirius! Are you even listening to me?" Lily growled, charming her finished breakfast away as she began preparing to make her exit.

"Yes Lily, you're absolutely right..." Sirius murmured, watching as Regulus take his leave.

Lily groaned as she rolled her eyes, typical Sirius. Never bothering to listen to anyone entirely; always enchanted or enticed with something he thought was better at the moment.

"I said, if you'd still care to find Scarlett before class begins, I suggest searching in the library!" Lily growled as she stormed off, irritated by Sirius's daydreaming.

"Thanks Lily…" He murmured to himself, seeming entranced when he decided to check out the library for Scarlett once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Sorry I took so long to update! I wrote a longer chapter to try to make it up to you guys! I hope you all are enjoying the story! If you like please please please leave a review! I love feedback and it keeps me more motivated to update faster! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has read and reviewed! REVIEWS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA! For real; if you guys ever want a faster update FEEL FREE TO HARASS ME! Lmao! Anyways, I have TONS planned for this story. A sequel that takes place in the regular Harry Potter time period as well! SO IF YOU LIKE PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I've had this idea for years and I'm just starting to get it down and written out! Anyways thank you and will update again soon!


	6. Chapter 5

_**"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad."** _

_**~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow** _

**DEDICATED TO PRINCESSHYUUGA01**

History swirled around like a hurricane in Scarlett's mind; she groaned as she rubbed her now aching head. Turning to the next page furiously, the tiny words starting to irritate her.

 _History is such a bore_ , she thought to herself as she closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself a moment to breathe.

History depressed and irritated Scarlett to the brink of her sanity. It was nothing more to her then human tragedy after tragedy. The same story to a different song was all it was. Nothing but a giant headache. She couldn't possibly fathom what someone could possibly find enjoyable in studying History of Magic.

She slammed her book shut suddenly, nearly hearing Professor Binns signature droning voice with the words as she had been reading inside her head.

"Taking your anger issues out on books now I see…" She heard an all too familiar voice chuckle.

"I don't have anger issues, Sirius...Although, come to think, you following me to the library is starting to get rather old…" Scarlett muttered to herself, picking up her Ancient Runes book next.

Sirius paused for a moment, debating whether joking was the right way to pursue the root of the problem or not. Sirius sighed, slowly taking a seat next to her.

He carefully watched the way she seemed to devour the pages, soaking in every word. Zooming quickly through all the pages, nearly finished with the chapter when he finally spoke.

"You know what _is_ getting old?" He asked softly, slowly shutting the book on her in a feeble attempt to capture her attention.

Scarlett was suddenly thrown off her concentration, panic flushed through her body as she desperately tried to find the last page she had been reading.

"Sirius!" she choked, nearly on the verge of tears when she finally found her spot again. "Why on earth would you do that! I need these grades! I need to pass that test TOP in my class and you just-!"

"You avoiding everything...hiding yourself from everyone…" Sirius stated, utterly ignoring Scarlett's semi-panic attack.

His statement shocked Scarlett to the core, conjuring up emotions she never knew she possessed. She stared blankly back at Sirius, at loss for words to say. What _could_ she say? What did he _want_ her to say? His constant questioning and obsessing over her seemed to be for his own sanity; not hers.

Yet, as she stared deep into his glistening hazel eyes, she couldn't help but wonder why all the antics. Why all the questions, why the constant bombardment? What did he care? She began biting hard at the corner of her bottom lip while twirling a piece of blue hair; it was a tick she carried when she grew nervous.

Sirius softly caressed the blue strand of hair she was twirling nervously at; "But, why did you put blue in your hair? If you don't want to be noticed?" he then pondered softly, still awaiting an answer.

She quickly brushed his soft hands away from her hair, she hated it being touched. _Why the blue?_ He had asked, not even Lily had dared ask such a question; out of fear of the truth she supposed.

Yet, Sirius _wanted_ the truth. The disgusting,awful truth that unearthed her entire being constantly.

**The answer.**

**Her father.**

Her father always touching her, grooming her. _Using_ her. Her hair had been one of his most favorite of her assets, at least so he told her so many times before.

Everytime she looked in the mirror and saw her long, nearly white loose curls, she felt disgusted. Ashamed and loathsome. She could almost feel her father running his hands through her hair, twirling strands with his fingers like a dark dance.

She had needed something different, something empowering.

Something that brought her sense of self back to her when she looked in the mirror, even just a mere, small light that would allow her to continue on with herself.

She remembered when she did the deed on the train at the beginning of the year, while Lily nearly feel over with shock; Scarlett recalled saying to herself,

" _It's mine now, all mine…"_

"Sirius...can't some things just remain unsaid?" she murmured, slowly beginning to gather her books up when she glanced at her watch and realized what time it was.

Scarlett paused for a second, taking in the sight of a torn Sirius took a small toll on her conscious. She slowly walked closer to him, softly caressing his right cheek, taking in how dark the circles under his eyes were beginning to look.

"Save yourself…" she whispered with a small smile, "You're the only one worth saving here…"

"Scarlett, let me in! Let me help you!" Sirius pleaded desperately, taking her hand before she could remove it from his cheek, slipping away once again.

He noticed how she seemed to flinch at his touch, her heart beginning to race as he continued holding her hand.

"I have to go, Sirius…"

And with that, she done what he so feared. Leaving nothing but a mere man on the brink of agony behind.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0

"Isn't this wonderful?!" Lily mused, as she navigated herself and Scarlett through the raging crowd of Gryffindor students cheering their house on in the quidditch stands.

Scarlett groaned as she felt the growingly cool autumn air breeze seemingly right through her. Crowds were not her thing, let alone quidditch at that. But it made her best friend beam with excitement, seeing Lily happy was one of the few things in the world that made her happy in return and as long as she was here, nothing could prevent that from happening.

Scarlett clenched unto her jacket tightly, taking her seat next to Lily who was already screaming chants with the rest of the Gryffindor students. Scarlett shook her head and smiled, Lily was the perfect persona of joy. Something she could only wish she possessed.

"Come on Scarlett! CELEBRATE!" Lily shouted with glee, jumping out of her seat to wave her tiny house flag.

"Lils, you know I hate these matches! Don't make me dread it even more than I already do!" Scarlett warned Lily with a giggle, suddenly noticing James and Sirius making their entrance, the rest of the team behind them.

Smirking to herself, she silently pulled out a book of poetry she often liked to read out of her bag. She had promised Lily she would go with her to the match, never did she say she would actually _watch_ it. Besides, Lily would be too preoccupied with the game to notice she wasn't watching anyways. She slowly ran her finger over the words as she concentrated hard on story that was being told to her, ever so beautifully.

_But we loved with a love that was more than love—_

_I and my Annabel Lee—_

_With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven_

_Coveted her and me._

_And this was the reason that, long ago,_

_In this kingdom by the sea,_

_A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling_

_My beautiful Annabel Lee;_

_So that her highborn kinsmen came_

_And bore her away from me,_

_To shut her up in a sepulchre_

_In this kingdom by the sea_.

Screams suddenly filled the air as Sirius blocked an amazing attempt from the Slytherins at trying to score; shuttering Scarlett's fantasy world for a brief moment.

"Amazing save Sirius!" she could hear James scream as he zipped through the stadium, still in search for the snitch.

What a love was that? One that felt so strong?

She couldn't help but wonder, would she ever experience such a strong emotion like love? Could she ever feel that same passion for Sirius, one day too? And better yet, would he ever feel that kind of love for her in return?

Questions spewed like a broken spout around in her mind, begging her to slowly close the book, and pay attention to Sirius for once. She watched with awe as he blocked another Slytherins attempt to score, ravishing in his glory for all to see.

She smiled to herself shyly as she watched him scream encouragements to James, demanding he stop being so slow and capture the snitch already. Sirius looked so much happier when he was up on his broomstick, putting on a show for all his fans. Quidditch appeared to give him such a rush, such a burst of energy and happiness. So different than how he had been behaving lately.

"AND JAMES POTTER CATCHES THE SNITCH!" Madam Hooch shouted, causing a roar of cheer to arise from the Gryffindor stands.

Lily beamed with excitement, nearly smacking Scarlett in the face as she leaped out of her seat with joy, screaming at the top of her lungs. "He did it Scarlett! James caught the snitch!" she then squealed, embracing Scarlett in a intense bear hug.

Scarlett's eyes grew wide with surprise by the power behind Lily's embrace. "James?" she managed to ask, nearly gasping for breath. Lily seemed to be growing more tolerant and fond of James and the year progressed. Often she would spot Lily giggling at one of James ridiculous jokes during Potions class, seeming to take a break from nagging him on his pranks for once in her life. Just as James seemed to be giving poor Severus a break from his constant harassment and practical joking.

Lily gasped as she finally let Scarlett, hand raised to her mouth in an attempt to keep herself from bursting into laughter.

"James isn't as bad as he seems...he really isn't…" she mused, giggling as she watched the Gryffindor players all celebrate their win with a victory lap.

"Oh really?" Scarlett insisted, playfully nudging her arm.

"Please, what about you and Sirius? I mean you guys are betrothed and all but he pursues you like you're already married!" Lily shot back, continuing to watch James.

"Who knows?" Scarlett murmured back, "Do you think we should get going? Everyone is moving back towards the common room…"

"Sure, let's find out what kind of celebration we'll be having!" Lily replied, beginning to gather her belongings. "Oh, I hope the after party isn't rowdy like it was last time...so obnoxious it was! Ugh!" she then groaned in irritation.

Scarlett nodded silently in agreement as she began following Lily back to the common room. While she admitted she hated parties; parties always had drinks...and alcohol did a great job of making you forget about your problems _for_ the night and _through_ the night. And that, was exactly what she had been needing lately.

"What do you say Scarlett? Wanna try this party thing?" Lily chuckled, not being one for parties either, she usually chose to stay in and study when they occurred. But, with her growing connection to James...a party may just be the thing to get things going faster between them.

"Yeah, why not?" Scarlett giggled in response, trying to make it sound as she saw this as a complete and utter joke, not a free ticket to getting completely trashed.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey there everyone! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It almost didn't happen, which is why this chapter is dedicated to Princesshyuuga01. She really talked me into not shelving it just yet and working through each chapter and constantly update; not matter the response. I completely understand if some readers hate and/or don't read fanfiction with original characters. It's just that, there really wasn't a good character in my opinion that would have been a suitable match for Sirius, I honestly don't think J.K Rowling intended that in the first place either. So, I chose to create my own character for Sirius! I just made an outline for myself, and so far I've planned out about 12-14 chapters! I'm projecting maybe 30 something? Not 100% sure, but as a person who doesn't hold much confidence, especially when it comes to my writing. It's been tough not getting much feedback, and thus another reason why this chapter is dedicated to Princesshyuuga01. Girl, I know you like Harry Potter but the fanfiction isn't really your cup of tea, so I GREATLY APPRECIATE YOUR CONSTANT SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR THIS STORY! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME!
> 
> And to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited and followed this story. Let me just say; THANK YOU! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! You have no idea how much reviewed inspire me! How much all of that means to me! It keeps me going, and I've decided,as this story grows and hopefully the fan base for it does as well! Then I will be planning an annual day each week to update this story! A SEQUEL IS ALREADY PLANNED! And there will be A TON of work and thought and planning being put in this story! Please forgive any errors and accuracy when it comes to the actual timeline of Harry Potter and the events J.K Rowling put in place. I will try my best to stick to the timeline and be as accurate as possible! However, some things may be changed. Like, I believe Lily and James officially started going out in their 6th year? Right now I have them in year 7 because of the plot and timeline of what I need to happen. So things like that may be changed but...THERE IS A LOT MORE TO COME! Things like Remus being a werewolf and Voldemort rising and all that good stuff will also come into play! Also; I DO NOT OWN THE POEM "ANNABELLE LEE" BY EDGAR ALLEN POE!
> 
> SO THANK YOU EVERYONE! PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you so much everyone! Thanks! :)


	7. Chapter 6

_**"But you can't forget something like that, not matter how much you drink, snort, or shoot into your veins. The memory stalks you forever and creeps up to maul you like a rabid dog, when you least expect it."** _

_**~Unknown (Pinterest)** _

Scarlett stood awkwardly in silence as she inspected the tight, black dress Lily had encouraged her to wear; much to her dismay. She waited patiently for Lily to meet her down in the common room, but the longer she stood and waited, the more anxious she became. The party had already begun, and rounds were already being dispersed as as the music boomed loudly, making Scarlett's head throb already.

"Drink?" a voice asked from behind her.

She turned around quickly, nearly knocking the drink Remus was extending out to her in the process.

"Remus…" she stated softly, "Sorry, I didn't realize-" she quickly apologized, embarrassed by her clumsiness.

Remus smiled warmly in response, "No worries, Scarlett. Drink?" he asked again, offering her the glass of firewhiskey.

She gladly accepted the drink, eagerly needing to feel buzzed.

"I thought _you_ were the good one?" she playfully asked. Scarlett always enjoyed having small talk with Remus. He was probably one of the most down to earth people she had ever met. Never judging, never spiteful. Always all ears and willing to give advice to anyone who needed it.

Remus shrugged as he began leaning against the wall, he took a sip as well before answering her, noting to himself she did have a point.

"It's nice to relax and have fun once in awhile, you know?" Remus ruminated as he took another sip of his firewhiskey. "But believe me, this will be my only drink tonight. Drinking isn't really my thing…" he added with a low chuckle.

Scarlett nodded in understanding, nearly finished with her first glass she quickly skimmed the room in search of her second. She could already feel it taking effect when she downed the last bit. She flashed a bright smile towards Remus, waving goodbye as she forgot all about waiting for Lily to meet her. She began slowly wandering off, not noticing Remus try to protest her leaving.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"James, quit it!" Lily giggled as she playfully shoved James away from her.

"Aw, c'mon Lils! Just one more kiss!" James protested, stealing another kiss from her peach lips before she could stop him.

"James, call down! I promised Scarlett I would meet her! Now, come on we're already late!" Lily gasped as she pulled James away from her face.

"Okay, okay. You win...where did you say you'd meet her? I don't see her anywhere yet…" he muttered to himself as the pair entered the Gryffindor common room. He searched the room for her signature blue streaked hair, Scarlett was nowhere to be found.

Lily fell silent, also searching the room left and right for her. No sign of her yet either from what she could see.

She _did_ notice Sirius and Remus talking in the corner of the room, also appearing to be in search of someone or something as well.

"James, I see Remus and Sirius over there!" she exclaimed, pointing in the direction of the other two boys. "Maybe they've seen her!" she yelled over the blasting music, beginning to drag James along with her.

"Hey Remus!" Lily shouted, waving vigorously. "Have you seen where Scarlett went off to?"

"Must you be so loud about it?" James moaned, rubbing his aching wrist now that Lily finally released him. _Damn, shes got some grip_ , he thought. "He's right in front of you now!"

Lily rolled her emerald green eyes, her focus solely on awaiting Remus's response.

"That's precisely what I was in the middle of asking Remus as well; did you see where she went off to?" Sirius chimed in, starring Remus down fiercely.

Remus shrugged as he threw his hands up in the air, surrendering. "Look guys, if I had a clue where she went, I would have gone after her myself. She'll be fine, she can take care of herself…trust her."

The group fell silent.

Lily nodded slightly as she began biting her nails. To be honest, these days Scarlett scared her to death. Having her on the loose at a party full of free booze was the last she wanted for her best friend. She glanced over at Sirius who also appeared to be greatly worried. Sirius was another issue almost entirely. He seemed to be more quiet and ghostly these days.

More distant, only interested in his studies and Scarlett. James had frequently confided in her how himself and Remus grew more worried about Sirius these days as well, afraid there was something he wasn't telling them.

 _Scarlett and Sirius, Sirius and Scarlett…_ Lily mused silently in her mind, like a childish rhyme it rang strongly inside her head. _Never one without the other..._ she pondered. Worry seemed to be her predominant emotion these days; constant fret and worry over those two was only typical nowadays.

All while the pair remained silent, chained by their circumstances it seemed.

Lily was so deep in her own thoughts, she never noticed Peter come staggering up to them.

"I-I saw her, Sirius. She was, she was with Derek Stone...by the fireplace!" he managed to stutter nervously.

Derek Stone, probably the best beater the Gryffindors could find. Absolute stud and womanizer he was, always the ladies fall back guy when Sirius showed no interest in them. With his shaggy dirty blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes, Derek was every girl's dream of the perfect male piece of arm candy.

What many of the girls in school failed to see, was once he got what he wanted. You were nothing but used goods to him. He was never with a girl more than once and once you fell into his bed, your reputation laid there as well. Permanently screwed.

Sirius growled, jealousy flushed through his veins. He immediately stormed towards where he finally knew where Scarlett was, tuning his friend's protests out as he mentally prepared to knock Derek out cold.

And Scarlett... _what in the bloody hell was she thinking?_ He asked himself angrily as he finally saw Scarlett and Derek's figures come into sight.

Sirius saw Scarlett's clearly intoxicated figure leaning against the fireplace, laughing loudly at something Derek had said. His eyes narrowed as he saw Derek pull Scarlett closer, offering her the rest of his drink. He saw Scarlett down the rest of what was in her glass in one gulp, smiling as she gladly accepted the rest of Derek's drink.

 _Stupid, Stupid!_ Sirius fumed to himself, arms crossed as he simply chose to stand and watch for a minute. Attempting to truly understand what was happening here before he acted completely rashly. A true rarity.

Meanwhile Scarlett was on cloud nine as she faced her pursuer so admirably. Never in her life had she felt so good about herself, so confident and beautiful. She felt Derek stroke her cheeks so lovingly, so attentively. Yeah, the firewhiskey was definitely getting to her good. She glanced back down at her nearly seemingly redundant empty glass, she pouted fiercely.

"Derek…" she hiccuped, "I think...I think I'm out again, why is that?"

"Probably cause you keep drinking so fast, love. Do you want another?" he chuckled, taking her empty glass out of hand.

Scarlett burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles as he gently took her hand, guiding her to the drink table, "I didn't... I didn't even have to ask. What a...a true gentleman…"

Sirius immediately sensed what was going on as he saw Derek attempt to guide her back to where all the firewhiskey was. His eyes widened, furey rising through his veins as he finally had enough of just observing.

"Oh no you don't!" Sirius scowled, yanking her hand away from Derek's.

"Sirius?" Scarlett hiccupped, her once beaming smile turned into a look of utter confusion. "What, What are you doing? I just want...want another drink…Derek was being so nice and-"

"Why they hell would you let her keep drinking?" Sirius shouted, shielding Scarlett from Dertek trying to pull her away. Completely ignoring Scarlett's faint protests.

Derek smirked, rolling his eyes in Sirius's possessiveness. "What are you, her boyfriend or something?" he snapped cooly. "She never said no, who am I to spoil a pretty girls fun?", winking at Scarlett from behind Sirius.

"Ss-irius...let me drink. I...I've only had...1,3,5…" Scarlett protested, trailing off as she attempted to count how many drinks she had off her finger tips. "Ohhhhh, wwhat does it mmatter?" she slurred, "Pleaseeeeeee Sirius...stop being so _serioussssss_ "

Scarlett burst into giggles, loving her childish play on words.

Derek raised his brow proudly, "See, let the girl drink."

Sirius groaned, dealing with a drunk Scarlett was not on the top of his list at the moment. But, at the same time if _he_ didn't stop her, who would?

Sirius twirled Scarlett around so she could face him, "Scarlett...I think you've had enough…" he murmured, her breath reeking of firewhiskey.

Scarlett smiled, "I've haddd enoughhh, whennn, when I say I did…" she giggled, yanking her hand free of Sirius grip.

Sirius quickly grabbed her from behind, "Leave Derek, or you'll regret it." he warned harshly.

"Siriussssss! Putttttt meeee downnnnn!" Scarlett nearly screeched when she saw Derek finally retreating.

"Later Scarlett, maybe next time your buzz kill will let you have some fun…" Derek muttered, waving goodbye as he already found a new girl to drink with.

"No, Derek..cccome backkkk!" she whined, nearly on the brink of drunk tears as she lightly pounded against Sirius's back.

"Not a chance, Scarlett." he reassured firmly, flopping her over his shoulder, intending on carrying her back to her bed with the help of Lily. Taken by how easy it was to carry her.

Scarlett yelped as she felt herself being lifted over Sirius shoulders. Her vision began to spin and twirl as everything became a giant, nauseating blur as they began to move forward.

"So you found her…"Remus muttered, taking in the sight of a overly drunk Scarlett.

"Thank goodness!" Lily added, beginning to tuck away the hair that was hanging in front of Scarlett's face.

James burst out in laughter, "No, thank God tomorrow is Sunday! She's only lucky chick!"

"James!"

"Lily, you gotta admit it _is_ a little funny!" James argued as the group began to head towards the girls dormitory.

"Sirius...I...I don't feel so good…" Scarlett murmured, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea wash over her entire body.

"No surprise there, seeing how you nearly drank all the firewhiskey by yourself…" Sirius shot back

"I just wanted...oh I'm gonna be sick...I just wanted, wanted to forget...forget my father…" she murmured so only Sirius could hear.

 _Her father?_ Sirius pondered to himself, _What about him?_

Finally they had arrived at the dorm Lily and Scarlett shared, gently laying Scarlett down on her bed to hopefully sleep it off.

"Will she be alright?" Peter asked softly.

Lily suddenly came up behind Sirius, giving him a small peck on the cheek she whispered, "Thanks for taking care of her…"

"You got this mate? I want to take Lily back to the-" James started.

"James! How could you think like that right now?" Lily scowled, taking a deep breath to keep herself from smacking James in the face.

"It's alright guys, go have fun. I got this…"

"Are you sure-It's really no-"

"Go guys, enjoy the rest of the party." Sirius said firmly, shooing them all out of the room.

Scarlett groaned, nearly leaping out of her bed when she felt the firewhiskey start to come back up.

She dashed as fast as she could to the bathroom, not bothering to shut and lock the door behind her as she just made the toilet.

She heaved, nothing but the firewhiskey spewing its way out of her mouth and into the toilet. She gasped, begging for just one second of peace to take a breath before she vomited once again. It burned her throat as it made it way out of her stomach. She coughed when it finally stopped for a second, she slumped over the toilet as she closed her eyes, darkness and dizziness taking over.

 _Drinking without eating is the absolute worst..._ she thought painfully.

"Scarlett are you alright?" Sirius asked softly, bending down to where she was. He slowly caressed her hair so softly, holding it back as she began heaving into the toilet once again.

She sniffed, gasping for air as she tried wiping excess off the corner of her lips before answering with a weezy, "Yeah...fine…".

Tears poured down her face she felt another wave of nausea hit her again.

Sirius grimaced as she choked on yet another period of vomiting. "Why do you always say you're fine...when you're clearly not?" he asked tenderly.

 _Drunks usually always speak with sober minds after all_ Sirius speculated, watching as Scarlett suddenly began dry heaving. Signaling what hopefully would end her upchucking parade.

"It hurts…" she stated hoarsely, her eyes fluttered lightly as she nearly drifted into unconsciousness on top of the toilet, Sirius catching her head before it hit the toilet.

Sirius couldn't help but wonder what she could have meant. Was she talking about the alcohol coming back up? Was she talking about why she chose to drink herself silly? He had no clue whatsoever.

"Sirius…" she finally muttered, her eyes slowly opening again to face Sirius directly. "Why are you always there?" she asked softly.

"Because I want to be...you're my future...and I have to protect that…" he murmured in response. "Can you sit up for a moment?" he then asked gently, leaning her against the rim of the tub as he began cleaning up the mess around the toilet.

"Don't...don't do that...Stop taking care of me…" Scarlett protested in panic, irritated her body couldn't move like she wanted it to at the moment.

"Hush…" Sirius murmured, flushing the toilet in riddance of the disaster that was once there. "Just relax…"

Scarlett bit her tongue, deciding it was best to save the arguing for later. She closed her eyes as she let the darkness engulf her entire being. Visions of her father arose, setting her night for a sure case of nightmares.

She slumped against the tub in silence, nothing but pure blackness is what she saw as she allowed the peace to come over her like a waterfall. _How ironic_ she thought.

That black was all she could see, it was almost like there was no escape from her fate. And her see was, selfish and intoxicated. Dwelling in only her own pain, instead of sharing it with the only person in the world that could possibly understand, Sirius.

So selfish she was, thinking she was the only one who had a darkness in them. Shame on her for punishing Sirius all those years, thinking he was the source of her pain. When he was only trying to help make it more livable for them both. He was truly a better person than her, and that she came to find disturbing.

"I'm sorry, Sirius…" she murmured as she felt Sirius picking her up to move her.

Sirius laughed lightly as he proceeded to move Scarlett to her bed, "Sorry for what?" he asked. Laying her carefully on her bed.

"For everything...for all those years...for being so hateful…" She trailed on, her ice blue eyes were now open, staring at Sirius in utter enchantment. "For tonight…" she added.

"Ah, you're still drunk. Morning come we'll be arguing again." Sirius dismissed jokingly, helping her tuck herself in under the covers.

"Sirius! I'm being honest!" she fought back, attempting to sit up straight.

Sirius quickly pressed her back down into bed gently, "Sleep!" he ordered.

It seemed as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out cold, only murmuring another "Thanks…" before completely giving into sleep.


	8. Chapter 7

 

_**"A tragedy need not have blood and death; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy."** _

_**~ Jean Racine** _

Pain surged through Scarlett's mind as her eyes fluttered open softly. Dizziness overcame her as she struggled to sit up, she blinked as her blurry vision slowly came into focus. Scarlett slowly came to see Sirius curled up at the very end of her bed, fast asleep on top of her bedding. He looked so peaceful when he slept. His clear showcase of anxiety was subdued and Sirius appeared to be at ease so effortlessly as he slept.

She grimaced as she strategically thought of how she could get out of bed without disturbing Sirius. She was positive he hadn't gotten much sleep; let alone the trouble he would certainly face if he was caught in the girls dormitory. She slowly began twiddling with her ring that felt so heavy on her finger as she stared at Sirius's resting figure. She suddenly felt at ease when she saw his steady breathing.

Scarlett closed her eyes as she allowed her mind to wander towards their future together, her head still pounding as she allowed her mind to wonder towards their future together, her head still pounding with fury. The fitting she would be going to shortly after graduation this year. All the wedding preparations, the family visits. She gulped as visions of her walking down the aisle hesitantly suddenly appeared in her mind. It was always so damning. So **_final_**.

She quickly opened her eyes once again, shaking those images out of her mind. She slowly moved closer to Sirius, studying his face as he continued to sleep peacefully. She raised her hand with caution, debating on whether it was appropriate or not if she was to caress his face ever so gently.

She finally decided she didn't care at the moment as she softly stroked Sirius defined cheeks. Praying her hands weren't so cold that they would cause him to wake. She couldn't deny how good looking he was; many woman would say she had no right to complain of her circumstance. He was the one to be desired, the one all ladies swooned over.

And she...nothing.

Yet, as she slowly began stroking his utterly soft raven hair, she couldn't help but wonder what he saw in her. What ailed him so much? So much that he felt the need to chase her hopelessly throughout the castle.

Her eyes slowly moved down towards his sleeves, the sleeves that hid his inner turmoil so well. Her heart sank, it damaged her to think...to think how when he was so busy demanding she come clean with her own self, that he was completely neglecting his own pain at the same time.

Her fingers tenderly traced Sirius's scars as he continued to sleep, so angry and fierce they were. Some so faded, they appeared to have been tampered with by magic. She couldn't believe...better yet she couldn't understand, why someone would inflict physical pain upon themselves like this. It completely baffled her.

Was he really this torn up inside? This broken and depressed?

Despite this, she still held no right to be angry with him. She had done everything in her power to avoid him since they old enough to understand they were betrothed to another. She did everything she could to push him away, to drive him to hate her as much as she hated the marriage arrangement.

In spite of her actions though, he still rampantly pursued her. Waiting for every opportunity he could to rectify her world that was chaotically crashing. But she couldn't help but ponder to herself...was that some showcase of love?

Or was it merely an act? An act to make her fall in love with him, so she would eventually submit to his will. So he wouldn't have to worry about her defying him, or possibly running away and shaming the Black family name.

Such childish thoughts were soon cast aside as Sirius began to stir in his slumber, startling Scarlett enough to break her seemingly endless trance of thoughts and remove her hand from his arm.

"Scarlett?" Sirius groaned as he begun waking himself up, stretching himself dramatically as he yawned loudly. "How long have you been up?"

Scarlett clenched nervously to the bed sheets, had he felt her touch?

"Not long…" she muttered softly, starting to become embarrassed he was still lying on top of her bed. "Sirius...you know you could get in trouble for this…"

Sirius chuckled while flashing one of his signature grins. "Only if I get caught...and seeing how Lily never came back last night either...and I doubt she would say anything anyways. Therefore, I can safely conclude...I'm in the clear."

Scarlett rolled her eyes, motioning Sirius to get off her bed with her finger.

Sirius quickly got up, respecting her silent wishes.

"Thank you though...you didn't have to do anything of that for me." Scarlett mused, attempting to share a small piece of gratitude towards Sirius.

"It wasn't a big deal...Lily can only handle so much you know?" Sirius joked, hoping to make her feel more comfortable with last night's happenings.

"But...there is something a little more...troubling, if you will." he then added carefully, suddenly beginning to calculate his odds that he would get jinxed beyond belief if he pressed further at what he was about to say.

"Is there something troubling you? I'm not understanding what-" Scarlett began to babble, greatly confused by what Sirius was trying to get at.

"You mentioned your father, last night when you were...drunk…" Sirius started, still aiming to be as tactical as possible with his words.

Scarlett continued to stare at Sirius in confusion, last night was still fuzzy and she pretty much only remembered her adventure time with the toilet. Everything before then was a mere blur, clouded by rampant haze.

"Enlighten me, Sirius." she stated, arms folded across her chest as she awaited his answer.

Sirius stood in silence for a moment, unsure whether he should continue to unlatch the lock he was before so willing to work on liberating.

"Your father...you said...you said you wanted to forget him. He was why you drank yourself silly last night, right?" Sirius stated bluntly, his demeanor now more contemplative.

"My father…" she whispered to herself, her eyes suddenly darting away from Sirius. Trying to search for something, anything that would give her a break from this. "You never let things rest, do you Sirius?"

"Persistence is more or less my forte, but...I find since were bound together...I must know these things…"

"And what of you?" she finally snapped, her ice blue eyes seething with sudden rage as she glared Sirius down. "You expect me to dump all these secrets on you like it's nothing...but you...you still say nothing concerning yourself! You're nothing but a hypocrite!"

Sirius took a deep breath, Scarlett had a valid point. He was a complete hypocrite; a great one at that. How could he ever expect her to open up to him? To trust him like a partner should, when he had his own secrets that had yet to remain shared.

"It's okay, Scarlett. If you don't want to talk about it...you don't have to...but...I am here, if you want to talk about it."

Scarlett slowly calmed herself down, counting from ten to one before she began to speak once again.

"I understand Sirius, thank you. I'll consider being truthful with you...if you can stop injuring yourself like that. It's painful to see, Sirius…"

"Stop making everything about _me_ everytime I bring up _you_!" Sirius exclaimed, astounded she would say such a thing. Frustrated she always found never ending excuses to keep everything to herself.

"Why do you want to leave this world so badly?" Scarlett asked, small tears forming in her eyes. "You're clearly hurting, Sirius! And you aren't telling anyone about it!"

"Scarlett, please. You have no idea what you're saying right now!"

"I'm perfectly sound! Quit being so casuist with your words!"

Sirius paused for a moment, biting his tongue before he opened his mouth to argue once again.

"I'm numb inside...I need to feel something to feel alive again. Same reasons you obviously have…" he murmured, turning his back to leave before he spoke words he would later come to regret.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I finally updated! I hope you all enjoyed! Please, please let me know what you think if you like this story! I would really appreciate the feedback! It would mean a lot to me! They always keep me motivated to update faster as well! *hint hint* PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! And hopefully I will update soon! Thank you! :)


	9. Chapter 8

 

_**Hate lost inside, I dare to dream, faithless lies** _

_**Caught in the web, I will face the weak within** _

_**So I'll stay unforgiven** _

_**And I'll keep love together** _

_**And I'll be yours forever** _

_**I'll sleep close to Heaven** _

_**~ "Close to Heaven" by Breaking Benjamin** _

 

" _I'm numb inside...I need to feel something to feel alive again. Same reasons you obviously have…"_

Sirius's words rang like a broken record over and over in her mind as she finished getting ready for her Transfiguration class.

" _Numb inside…"_

" _I need to feel something…"_

She scowled as she made her way through the common room, searching for any sign of Lily as she made her way through.

What a complete and utter hypocrite he was! Demanding nothing but answers from her! But the moment she began attempting to peel away at his own hidden layers, Sirius completely shut down and became defensive. Reacting in almost pure anger it appeared.

" _Same reasons you obviously have…"_

Scarlett finally stopped and paused at that remembrance of those words. She stood motionlessly in the doorway of McGonagall's classroom. Deep in her own thoughts.

Sirius did have a valid point...she wasn't being very honest on her end either. It wasn't like she didn't have her own... _habits_...you could say that allowed her to cope with things. She just didn't see the benefit of sharing if Sirius was so unwilling to return the favor himself.

Why should she share such a hidden part of herself? When he couldn't even do the same? It made no sense to Scarlett to make herself so vulnerable and exposed...whileas Sirius maintained his own great wall of secrets.

"Miss Scarlett, would you care to join the class? Or is the doorway a better spot for you this morning?" she suddenly heard Professor McGonagall call while clearing her throat, snapping Scarlett out of her rampant thoughts.

"Sorry, Professor. My apologies…" she muttered softly when she noticed how the older woman's lips were pursed together tightly. Her eyes showing nothing but pure annoyance by her mindless lingering at the doorway.

Scarlett quickly spotted Lily, quickly taking her seat next to her. Sighing in relief when attention was finally off of her for the time being.

"Where have you been, Lily? Did you and James-" she whispered.

Lily giggled, her hand clenched tightly across her mouth to try to muffle the sounds of her laughter. Her emerald eyes glistening as she blushed, "No silly, we just had a good time...that's all...but _you_! Sirius stayed the entire night from what I heard James tell me!" she whispered excitedly back.

Scarlett rolled her ice blue eyes at the mention of Sirius. "Please, it would only fed his ego if he heard you say anything about last night...trust me…it's better to just forget about it." she hissed, praying the subject of Sirius would go away.

Lily's mouth slightly dropped, brief shock showcasing across her porcelain face before she finally spoke.

"But Scarlett, you were drunk off your arse! He saved you from-"

"Just drop it Lils...it was a night much needed. Can we leave it at that?" She harshly pressed, even Scarlet was taken slightly by the coldness of her words.

Lily's mouth slowly went back to being shut as she finally nodded in understanding, allowing the comment to be dismissed for the time being.

"And _now_ , if Miss Scarlett would be so kind to take a break from her conversation. Can she please tell the class what the spell for the Bird-Conjuring charm is?" McGonagall asked firmly, tapping her wand against the end of her desk impatiently.

" _Someone_ is getting on McGonagall's nerves today…" Lily muttered under her breath, trying her best to avoid smirking.

" _Avis_." Scarlett stated bluntly, smirking slightly as she ravished in the stunned look the professor wore when she answered correctly.

A few moments of silence passed before Minerva finally sought up the ability to continue her lesson. "Yes...that is... correct...now, that will be the spell we will be working on perfecting today! Begin!"

Scarlett's stomach suddenly growled furiously, causing Lily to glance back in her concern.

"Did you not eat breakfast again?" she asked, her eyebrow raised in suspicion

"Sirius made me eat when I woke up...I guess I'm just still hungry?" Scarlett answered a little too quickly.

Lies and more lies. All coming to the tip of her tongue and off her lips so easily lately. It all but resonated easy with her...but it was what it was for the time being she supposed.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before practicing the spell. It was a rather tricky spell, rumors of severed heads and frog-rabbit mutations flooded the castle whenever this summoning charm was taught. Most never dared to try more than once.

 _Boom,_ the sound that startled nearly the entire class sounded. Much like a gunshot it sounded like.

Stunned, Scarlett opened her eyes again. Much to her surprise she noticed beautiful yellow birds swarming and chirping excitedly around Lily.

Lily was beaming triumphantly as she gazed in awe at the twittering birds. Seemingly amazed by her own ingenious handiwork. Her fiery red hair seeming to glow just as much as she was in her eyes.

"Avis" she chanted softly, moving her wand in a large blue illuminating circle, then adding two swift motions in the middle, resembling something like mountains. Suddenly the charms signature bang sounded, several peeping blue birds burst from the tip of her wand. Sworming right along with Lily's yellow birds.

Scarlett faintly smiled to herself, taking in her achievement not too far behind Lily. She slowly blinked, her vision suddenly growing more distorted by the second.

"Marvelous work, Miss Evans...Impressive work Miss Emery…" Professor McGonagall awed in only a way she would. "50 points to Gryffindor!"

Lily beamed, glowing in such excitement she turned to face Scarlett, "We did it! Wow, Scarlett! Nothing against you but usually transfiguration isn't your strong point...have you been practicing with all that time in the library?" She chuckled.

Scarlett nodded, her ice blue eyes still staring into space as she waited for the sudden dizzy spell to wear off.

_Breathe in, breathe out..._

_Take deep breaths and it'll pass…_ She chanted in her mind, praying it would indeed come to pass.

She groaned, clasping her aching head with her hands.

Lily studied Scarlett worriedly, extending her hand out to her friend as she spoke softly.

"Are you alright?"

Scarlett peered from between her fingers, nodding once more in response. Too dazed to say anything at all. Words never daring to escape her lips.

Before she knew it the world she once knew was outright spinning. She could could hear Lily panicking. But her shrieks slowly began to fade along with her once surging reality of color, fading into nothing but a damning black nothing.

 _Everything fading to black_... _how ironic_ , she mused thoughtfully as she finally let herself lose consciousness, unable to hold onto reality any longer.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL WHO HAVE READ, REVIEWED AND FOLLOWED/FAVORED THIS STORY! IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME! If you like PLEASE, PLEASE review! I love them and they motivate me to update faster! Thank you so much! :) PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!

_**"We all wear masks and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin."** _

_**~André Berthiaume** _

"Ah, c'mon Padfoot. You can definitely come up with a better insult than that! This is _Sniffilus_ were talking about!" James groaned in playful irritation, tapping the large piece of parchment in front of them with the tip of his wand.

Sirius paused dramatically, tapping his own wand against his forehead to amplifying the fact he was thinking "deeply".

"I thought the comment about his greasy hair was rather brilliant…" Wormtail muttered lowly, his nose twitching in showplace of his inner anxiety.

Moony just rolled his eyes, typical James and Sirius. Always trying to outdo even their _own_ pranks and remarks.

"Why don't we just give it a nice charm that insults the slimy git with _whatever_ , if he ever was to try to get into our utterly _genius_ map?" Sirius finally proclaimed excitedly. Also placing the tip of his own wand at the center of the map.

"Mr. Moony, Mr. Prongs, and Mr. Wormtail...care to help me do the honors?"

"I could lose my prefect badge for this Padfoot…" Remus warned as he finally placed his own wand tip on the map along with the other marauders.

"Well then, it would be well worth it then, _rightttt_ Moony?" James insisted with his bellowing laughter. His eyes growing wide with excitement as he watched the magic enchanting the map.

"Sirius! Scarlett, she-" they suddenly heard Lily scream as she burst through the common room, nearly interrupting all the boys focus.

"Damnit Lily, can't you see we're in the middle of something!" James shouted back,hastily folding the freshly finished map in his robe pocket.

"Sirius...Scarlett's in the hospital wing now. She fainted, I don't think she's been eating. I thought you'd want-" Lily continued, completely ignoring James.

Immediately Sirius's smile fell from his face, his heart dropped and panic suddenly flushed like a great waterfall throughout his body.

"She fainted? How-?" he finally managed to ask Lily as Sirius allowed her to lead him out of the common room. What was the point if asking a question like that? He knew what the answer was, he just didn't want to admit it.

"I think we both know why…" Lily answered solemnly.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Darkness had engulfed Scarlett's entire being, it seemed she was staring into complete nothingness. She still didn't quite understand what had happened.

Scarlett stared down at the bed she had been placed in, her nose wrinkling in disgust when she realized she had been charmed out of her robes from earlier and placed in a infirmary gown.

"Distasteful…" she muttered annoyingly to herself, crossing her arms across her chest in defeat.

"I see you have awoken,Miss Everly. Hospital gowns aren't made to be fashionable now...how are you feeling?" Madam Pomfrey asked, breaking Scarlett out of her silent cursing and hate for the gown.

Scarlett blushed in embarrassment, "It wasn't anything personal just...you know...shocked...that's all. I'm feeling better, thanks."

Pomfrey handed her a goblet, "Here, drink this. It'll help you get some of your strength back...has this happened often this year?"

Scarlett shook her head as she slowly sipped the thick, odd tasting potion. "Been over stressed, schoolwork and exams...you know?" she finally responded as she handed the empty goblet back to the healer. Her lying knowing no bounds once again.

Madam Pomfrey nodded slowly, not entirely buying into the young girl's explanation.

"I also took up running...I guess I didn't realize how much you needed to eat to keep your strength up." Scarlett added quickly, of course she would have to admit her exercising. It almost seemed unavoidable to keep to herself any longer.

Madam Pomfrey tisked as she shook her head. She then nodded in understanding, finally seeing Scarlett's point. "I see...well, I want you to take a dose of a weight gain potion to help get your body back to where it should be. I see you how you can most certainly not realize how much nutrition your body is needing. But, I need you to ensure me that you will start paying more attention to eating, alright?"

Scarlett smiled and nodded brightly. "Of course, Madam...I see know. Thank you!"

"Very good, I'll be back shortly with the potion. In the meantime, there are some visitors that are anxious to see you. Would you like me to let them see you?" Poppi asked with a small smile.

 _Visitors?_ Scarlett wondered to herself, who else would be here besides Lily?

"Sure, you can let them in. Thank you again, Madam Pomfrey." she replied, her bright smile never wavering until Pomfrey left the room.

Suddenly the door reopened again, revealing none other Lily, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter. Much to her confusion as to why they were ALL here.

"Hey, Scarlett. You okay?" Lily asked, summoning a chair to pull up next to her bedside.

"Yeah, I'm alright now...although...what brings the famous Marauders here?" she asked.

"Any friend of Lily and Sirius is ours naturally!" James chuckled, pulling his own chair next to Lily.

Sirius pulled his own chair up on the opposite side of Scarlett's bedside.

Scarlett laughed lightly, "Well, I appreciate that James...I guess Lily is right about you after all."

James smirked as he took Lily's hand in his, "Well, after your hilarious episode with that party a few nights ago. I had to find a way to befriend you!"

Scarlett's cheeks flushed with red once again in embarrassment.

"Good grief, James. Is that the only reason you wanted to befriend her? Because her drinking habits can match yours?" Remus asked, shaking his head in disappointment.

James shrugged, suggesting he firmly believed it was a genuine reason to befriend someone.

"Nice to finally meet you, Scarlett. I'm sorry you weren't feeling well…" Peter finally piped in, as nervous as he ever was.

Scarlett smiled softly towards Peter, her heart saddened by how easily intimidated Peter always seemed to be by everyone and everything.

"I appreciate that, Peter. Thank you." she responded delicately. "Thank you too, Remus.", she mentioned, eyeing Remus with a small gleam in her eye.

Remus nodded, acknowledging her appreciation.

"What did Madam Pomfrey say?" Sirius finally interrupted, growing more irritated by the moment that the elephant in the room still remained ignored.

Scarlett paused, clenching and unclenching the sheets with her hands as she debated on how to approach the subject.

"She said it was because I just wasn't consuming enough to cover my recent take up of running. No big deal, just need to make sure I eat larger portions I guess."

Lily nodded, biting her lip in uncertainty. She knew for a fact that she hadn't seen Scarlett at breakfast and dinner in what felt like ages. But...she had firm trust in her friend. She honestly didn't know what to think, she remained close to James. Squeezing his hand.

Sirius stared at Scarlett in blatant disbelief. He couldn't believe the lies that continued to escape her lips, never seeming to end.

"Can I speak to Scarlett alone for a moment?" he finally stated lowly, coming across as demand than a request.

The rest of the group nodded silently, waving and saying their goodbyes to Scarlett before leaving them to their own devices.

"Yes, Sirius?" Scarlett finally growled.

"You're utterly impossible, Scarlett. You need to stop this! **Immediately**!" Sirius pushed back.

Scarlett scoffed, "Is that an order, _Black?_ Is that another perk the most ancient and noble Blacks possess? Ordering people around?"

"Lying isn't going to get you anywhere. It's not going to help you get better!" Sirius asserted, ignoring Scarlett's furious jab at his family name.

"What more do you want from me? Can't you see this is the only power I have left?" Scarlett pleaded. "How can I get better when there isn't anything wrong with me?"

"You pass out in class and you continue to think nothing is wrong?" Sirius protested, infuriated by the fact she still couldn't see. She still had no fear for what she was doing to herself.

"And what about you and your own little secret?" she then asked, annoyed by Sirius's hypocrisy.

"I'm not the one landing in the hospital wing. YOU are!" he fought back, desperate to keep her from once again opening his own box of secrets.

Scarlett laughed, "Dear God, Sirius...it seems we are a match made in heaven. Much to my dismay…"

"This isn't funny, Scarlett...if I don't start seeing you at meals...I'll inform your father…"

Scarlett's laugh only grew louder, "Is that the best you can do, Sirius? Please, my father would be glad to know his _precious_ daughter isn't getting fat."

Sirius was at loss for words. He finally began to understand, the reason she was hurting so much. The reason...for everything.

"Scarlett...your father, he _encourages_ this?" he finally asked, his tone now softer and less condemning.

Scarlett remained silent, too much was already said. He didn't need to know anymore than he already found out.

"You can tell me...how can I protect you if you won't let me in?" Sirius continued.

"Sirius, my father...he just has standards...if you will. And I have to follow them...and that's all there is to it." she muttered, the conversation growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"That's insane!" Sirius shouted, reaching for her hand.

Scarlett flinched slightly at his touch, she bit hard on the side of her lip. Anxiety rushing through her body the longer his hand stayed entwined with hers.

She retracted her hand from Sirius's slowly, not being able to bear the touch any longer.

"You act like I'm the only one with a crazy family, I heard Regulus was pretty close to joining the death eaters." she finally stated, aiming to get the conversation off of her.

Sirius sighed, "Again, Scarlett...you're changing the subject…"

Scarlett rolled her eyes, "Give me a break, Sirius. You need to stop keeping everything to yourself. It's driving you mad and I can see it resonating on your own flesh, maybe if you opened up. I would follow your lead…"

"Fine! You want me to open up to you! Here goes!" Sirius finally snapped fiercely. " I cut because I'm told what a disgrace of a son I am! How worthless and pathetic I am! Because I can't even help you, Scarlett!"

Scarlett stared at Sirius's quivering figure. Her eyes widened with surprise, never had she seen him so angry and upset in her life.

"Sirius...I-"

"Don't! Don't even try to come up with another pitiful lie. I'm so tired of hearing them pour out of you like it's nothing! Like **YOU'RE** nothing! Like **I'M** nothing!"

Sirius was beyond furious, he was utterly fuming with anger. How could she just sit there in a hospital bed, and laughing and lying about what got her there? He couldn't stop shaking with fury, he felt his arm begin to loom above Scarlett's face.

Scarlett's eyes widened in surprise, confusion displayed so perfectly across her face as panic began flowing throughout her body once again. She closed her eyes, bracing herself what she thought was the inevitable blow.

She waited, her eyes tightly squeezed shut.

It never came.

She reopened her eyes after a minute, she blinked. His hand was now back at his side, Sirius was back in his chair. Anger suddenly flushed through her, it was finally her turn to be furious.

"What? Too self-righteous to hit me? Go ahead, **DO IT**. All men are the same, so go ahead! It'll make you feel better! I _know_ it will..." she finally shouted.

"Scarlett...I-"

"JUST LEAVE SIRIUS! JUST GO!" She continued to shout, tears forming beneath her ice blue eyes.

Sirius quickly stood up from his seat, conflicted and ashamed as he impetuously excited to hospital room.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"So how did your talk go with Scarlett?" Lily asked, taking a break from finishing her Potions essay up.

Sirius just quietly shook his head, never bothering to look up from his Defense Against the Dark Arts book. "Don't want to talk about it, Lily…"

Lily shot James and Remus a look of urgency, ushering them to step in and say _something_ at the very least about it.

"Something obviously happened, Padfoot...your usually never this quiet." Remus added, praying nothing that slipped from James mouth next would provoke Sirius.

"C'mon we're your best mates! You can tell us!" James pleaded, more than happy to take a break from his schoolwork.

Sirius inexorably looked up from his book, finally taking a deep breath it was time for him to come clean about his encounter.

"I lost my temper with her...I-I raised my hand to her…" he gulped, the words feeling like poison as they rolled off his tongue. He watched as everyone's facial expressions shifted to shock and surprise, feeling worse and worse by the minute.

"Sirius…" Lily murmured, at loss for words.

"Did you end up hitting her?" James finally asked, voicing the question everyone in the room was thinking.

"God no, Prongs! But...still…" Sirius drawled softly. "I think...I think it's time I was honest with you guys...the truth is...Scarlett and I have been betrothed to another since we were children…"

"I knew that...Scarlett told me a few years back…" Lily murmured, pained by the very memory of that day.

Remus and the James however, sat in utter astoundment.

"Padfoot...are you...serious? No pun intended mate, but…wow…" James mused to himself, slightly dazed with this truth that just came into light.

"Hmmm, I thought something of the sort. But, it was none of my business…" Remus added.

" And here, I thought you were set for the bachelor life...well for LIFE!" James then chuckled, nearly bursting in laughter at his own joke.

"James!" Lily blurted, smacking James lightly on the arm.

"Do we at least get to go to this wedding mate?" James added with a small chuckle. "Okay, okay Lily. I'm done...for now…" he added when he saw Lily was nearly fuming.

"Of course...if Scarlett even lives long enough for there to be one this summer…" Sirius muttered bitterly. "She's starving herself...and she won't let anyone help her…"

"That explains a lot…" Remus contemplated. "I would say give it some time Padfoot, just be there for her...you'll have to give her some space now though. Especially with an encounter like that."

Sirius nodded in agreement, "Lily, why don't you talk to her? She might listen to you… could you? For me?"

Lily nodded, "Of course, Sirius. I'll do whatever I can to help!"

Sirius smiled faintly in thanks, grateful Lily may be able to knock some sense into Scarlett. Sirius felt so useless and pathetic.

How could he ever expect to help Scarlett save herself...when he couldn't even save his own self?


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! I really, really appreciate it so much! PLEASE CONTINUE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS! I love reviews and communicating with my readers! Thank you so so so much! I have a really deep love for this story! I really do! So I greatly appreciate every last person who has read and reviewed this story! :)

_**Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better.** _

"Sirius, take a look at this mate! More workers in the ministry have gone missing!" James exclaimed, stopping the marauders in their tracks as they moved swiftly through the freshly fallen snow. James quickly grabbed a copy of the Daily Prophet from the young newspaper boy, tossing him a piece of change in payment.

"Absolute craziness!" Peter squeaked. Terrified at the happenings.

"It can't be a coincidence...it's all too suspicious." Remus added, motioning for James to hand him the newspaper.

"I can't believe how many people still don't believe Voldemort and his death eater gang is behind this, it's pretty obvious if you ask me!" Sirius groaned in annoyance.

The boys all nodded in agreement, Sirius's words couldn't have been any truer.

"Are your parents still pressuring you to join them? Like Regulus is?" James finally asked softly, clenching his jacket a little tighter, nervous to what the answer would be.

Sirius gulped, despising the very question. Dreading have to always separate himself from the rest of his horrid family. Regulus was so close to finalizing his membership, and to top it off Bellatrix, Lucius and Narcissa weren't too far behind. This rampant and crazed movement that was sweeping across the wizarding world, was damaging in its very mention. Sirius couldn't help but wonder, would there be a war sometime in the future? A battle of ideologies and beliefs? Of power?

It seemed only time would tell. However, with the events unfolding as they were...it seemed it would only be a matter of time before everyone was forced to choose sides. No more speculations.

"Of course they are...they wouldn't be my parents if they weren't. But, I still refuse…" Sirius finally answered with a sigh.

Remus placed a hand of comfort on Sirius's shoulder, sorry for all the pain Sirius had to go through with his family.

"If you want to talk about it...we're always here for you, Padfoot." Remus murmured soothingly.

"It's almost that time of the month again, yeah Moony?" Sirius said, stopping in his tracks to place his own hand on Remus's shoulder. Desperately wanting to change the subject.

Remus nodded quietly, a small shade of red growing across his cheeks. Slightly embarrassed by his furry little problem.

"Nothing to be ashamed about, Moony! We've told you a million times, mate! It doesn't make you any less than the rest of us. Besides, being animagi on the down low is beyond cool" James laughed, his breath all too clear in the cold, winter air.

Peter nodded quietly in silent agreement.

Remus smiled at his friends, overwhelmed with joy. He couldn't believe how he had managed to befriend such wonderful guys. Despite how much trouble they caused, they were overwhelmingly loyal and dedicated. And for that, he was eternally grateful.

"Hey, Padfoot. Isn't that Scarlett over there?" Peter asked, breaking the silence.

Quickly all of their eyes darted towards where Peter was pointing, directly at the bookshop "Tomes and Scrolls".

There she was in the distance, bundled up tightly in a heavy coat and hat as she leaned against the outer wall of the shop. Her long, wavy blonde hair was flowing in the wind, the blue as vibrant as ever. The cold seemed to make her cheeks rosy, and her eyes glisen.

"We'll catch up with you later mate?" James asked, knowing Sirius would want to go speak to Scarlett.

Sirius nodded, waving back at his friends left him to his own devices.

"Now, why would you be standing out here in the bitter cold?" He asked with his signature grin, finally within a few inches of her.

Scarlett glared in agitation at Sirius, they hadn't spoken in a good month. Some nerve he had, acting as if the fight they had never happened. She continued to glare, uttering not a word.

Sirius took a deep breath, understanding precisely where her hostility towards him was coming from.

"Look...I know you're still upset with...how I handled my anger towards you. I don't blame you, you know? But...can we move past it?"

Scarlett's eyes widened, surprised at the geniality she heard flowing from his mouth. Not to mention he was actually trying to apologize. A practice that Sirius Black never allowed himself to put into a reality.

"Come out of the cold with me, I was waiting on Lily but she's obviously taking a little longer…" Scarlett stated, yanking open the book shop's door. Holding it out from behind her so Sirius could join her.

"I see your love for books hasn't faltered…" Sirius observed, amused by how at home Scarlett made herself when she was around books. Sirius found himself loving the way she lost all sense of her surroundings when she was completely engulfed by stories. Sirius chuckled to himself when he saw she was already reading a few pages out of several books in the back of the store. Debating on which one would be her latest adventure.

Sirius moved to the book shelf that was on the opposite side of where Scarlett was. He slowly began removing books until he could peer at Scarlett through the now empty space.

"So, are we good?" He asked, startling Scarlett.

Scarlett gasped, clenching her hand to her heart. Shocked at Sirius peaking through the space he made for himself on the book shelf. She bit her lip hard, trying to keep herself from bursting into laughter.

"I wouldn't have invited you into my sanctuary if we weren't, you git!" She giggled, shoving the books she had in hand back into the shelf, nearly smacking Sirius in the face.

She heard Sirius laugh from behind all the books, making her blush as she turned her back to the shelf. Her hand covering her mouth in another grand attempt to stop herself from laughing.

Before she knew it she felt a pair of strong arms pulling her close from behind.

"I've been wanting to do this for years…" Sirius muttered, taking Scarlett by surprise as he cupped her chin with his hand, pulling her closer to fully lock his lips with hers.

Scarlett's heart fluttered, astounded by Sirius's boldness. She could feel the tenseness of her body slowly leaving, replacing with the longing to only melt further into his arms.

"Sirius...I don't understand...wh-" she started, completely stunned and confused. Speechless was putting it lightly.

Sirius's hazel eyes met Scarlett's ice ones. He slowly ran his fingers through her soft hair, wanting nothing more than this moment to last forever.

"You've done a good job at pushing me away, Scarlett. I see now...that you wanted me to hate you as much as you hated this marriage arrangement. I understand if you can't love me in return...but...these are my true feelings…I promise." he confessed.

Scarlett felt her mouth nearly dropping to the ground, she couldn't fathom this kind of display of affection. How could she ever expect to know what it felt like to be in love? Let alone what real love felt like?

The only kind of love she had ever known was when she was being used by her father. Where she was nothing but a mere vessel for his derailed fantasies.

Reality seemed to be crashing brutally down on her. Crushing every wall of defense she had ever built up over the course of her seventeen years of living.

The good and honest truth was she actually _liked_ it when he kissed her so passionately. No longer did she find herself pulling away from his touch, she now wanted nothing more than to stay in the position they were in for as long as possible.

For years she had shuttered at just the mere thought of people, especially a _man_ touching her, Being the very reason for her anxiety and nightmares at night. But, now… something significant had shifted in her heart.

As she stood in complete serenity, clenching Sirius's hands it became apparent that nothing else in the world mattered to her at all.

Her father.

Her grades.

Her body.

Everything

Absolutely none of it.

"I think...I think I feel the same way, Black…" she finally managed to breathe. She saw Sirius's lips form a small smile of victory. Without warning, Sirius pulled her into a tight embrace. Nearly stealing the breath she still had left in her.

Leaving her essentially breathless.

"I see you two finally made up!" They heard a cheerful voice gush loudly.

Sirius loosened his grip on Scarlett, his grin only growing wider when he saw who it was.

"Hey, Lily. I thought you'd never show up!" Scarlett giggled, excited for her best friend to finally arrive.

"Needed to finish my potions essay, didn't want that spoiling my mood for the rest of the weekend." Lily explained, "Didn't expect to find you here though, Sirius." She added.

Lily couldn't help but beam her natural radiant smile at the sight of the pair. It made her find a sense of relief in the fact Scarlett was able to find a way to forgive Sirius.

"Would you like to join us for tea?" Scarlett asked, outright oblivious to Sirius's clear excitement for the proposal.

Lily shook her head, giggling softly with a growing blush, "James invited me to go to the three broomsticks with him, I was going to offer we spend an hour here together but it seems you might have something else in mind…"

Sirius quickly grabbed Scarlett's hand, squeezing her small hand in his.

"Well, enjoy yourself, Lily. We'll catch up with you later!" Sirius said, leading Scarlett out of the book shop.

"Of course, Lily! We'll see you later!" Scarlett added with her own giggle.

The couple waved as they watched Lily disappear into the vanilla frosted village. Scarlett felt herself beaming, feeling like a little girl again. Especially with Hogsmeade looking so much like the christmas card everyone had always described it during this time of the year. It made the moment more miraculous.

There was something about he had taken her hand, the way he guided her through the fresh snow, it made her feel so safe and wanted. These were feelings she never had experienced before. It was the most surreal surge of excitement she had ever been cultivated by before.

"I figured a guy like you wouldn't be caught dead here!" Scarlett laughed as they approached Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. Despite the continuous falling snow, you could still see the trademark pinkish purple outside, the windows as full of steam as ever.

"I heard the tea made up for the god awful layout!" Sirius chuckled back, opening the door for her.

She shook her head at the sound of the ridiculous tinkle as they both entered the shop. She glanced around at the several empty round tables. All decorated with lacy napkins and china sugar bowls. The tables were cramped a little too close together for her taste, but Madam Puddifoot was a sweet woman, and she did all she could to accommodate her customers.

Scarlett blushed as Sirius pulled out a chair for her, allowing her to take a seat first.

"What can I get you today m'dears?" Madam Puddifoot asked, struggling to get between the tables to take their order.

Sirius and Scarlett did their best not to burst into laughter at the poor woman, who was clearly having a tough day.

"May I have just a cup of peppermint tea, Madam?" Scarlett asked sweetly, smiling brightly as she spoke.

"Just a black coffee for me, please. Thank you Madam." Sirius added.

"It'll be right up for you loves!" The Madam declared, struggling to make her exit from the table.

Scarlett snicked when she was sure Madam Puddifoot was out of listening range.

"I actually have something for you, my mum sent a letter...for us I guess you could say…" Sirius started, reaching into his coat pocket. He pulled out the crumbled letter, smoothing it out with his hands slowly when he placed it carefully in the center of the table.

Scarlett cocked a brow in curiosity, _what more could Mrs. Black want from her at this point?_ She wondered to herself.

"Do you mind?" She asked, motioning that she wanted to read it for herself.

Sirius nodded, sliding it towards her so she could read for herself.

**_Sirius,_ **

**_Your father and I request that you bring to Scarlett's attention that we request her presence over this Christmas break. This is very important for our family and we strongly suggest you advise her to adhere to this request. Her father has already been sent a letter as well, notifying we would like her to join us this Christmas. Send us an owl immediately when you have her answer._ **

**_~ Mother_ **

"I'm surprised she even used the word _request_ , seeing it's more of a demand!" Scarlett scoffed, handing Sirius back the letter in disgust.

"Thank you…" Sirius murmured as Madam Puddifoot placed the cups of steaming liquid on the table.

Scarlett reached for her tea, sipping slowly as it was scorching hot. She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing the peppermint to soothe her growing anxiousness.

Sirius sighed as he started pouring cream into his coffee, stirring it hypnotically.

"She is what she is...hopefully we won't hear much from her after we...wed…" he finally stated softly, carefully choosing his words.

Scarlett nodded in understanding.

"Yes, I do hope so…" she replied airily.

"There is...something I wanted to ask you though...if it's alright?" Sirius asked, placing his cup down for the moment. Grabbing her hand to show her he wasn't standing against her.

"Yes, it's alright. I won't get angry again, I promise." Scarlett chuckled, enjoying this new progression in communication between them.

"How are you doing? Are you eating?" He asked, the very words scaring Scarlett to death the moment they came out of his mouth.

Scarlett placed her own cup down for a moment, she wanted to retract her hand from him. Run away and hide like she always wanted to when she was in an uncomfortable situation. But,for the sake of moving forward. Today she could not.

She supposed she could be honest with Sirius...certainly that would allow him to trust her more in return. It may even make him open up to her as well.

"I'm alright...quod me nutrit, me destruit...it never really goes away…" she mumbled dolefully.

Sirius nodded in understanding, pained by her words. "What nourishes me...destroys me?" He reaffirmed.

Scarlett nodded, "And what about you? Have you-"

"Yes...I'll admit it...I have…" Sirius grimaced, despising to admit the truth.

Scarlett took a long sip of her tea, also in dismay over the truth.

"Look at us, Sirius. Damaged and barely still stitched together. It's comical!" Scarlett chuckled darkly, she really couldn't help herself with that one.

Sirius nodded in reluctant agreement, also taking a moment to sip his cooling coffee. "If we aren't careful, we may just be the death of each other…"


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! FINALLY got this new chapter out! Thank you so much for everyone who had read and reviewed this story! I really really appreciate all you guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really would like to dedicate this chapter to Mulligrub! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! Also thanks to my good friend Princesshyuuga01! She is amazing and this story would not keep going without her! Also Clairebear2345! Thank you so much! Please, feel free to leave a review! They are very much appreciated! I love them! Thank you all once again! :)

_**"I believe humanity was born from conflict. Maybe that's why in all of us lives a dark side. Some of us embrace it. Some have no choice. The rest of us fight it. And in the end, it's as natural as the air we breathe. Some point, we're forced to face the truth...ourselves.** _

_**~Penelope Garcia (criminal minds)** _

* * *

Walburga Black stared coldly as her pursed lips distorted the dark beauty the woman had been so miraculously endowed with.

Her husband, Orion, stood silently by her side, waiting patiently for her to speak.

"I don't understand...why on earth would you want to speak to me alone like this?" Scarlett finally asked, arms folded across her chest.

She fidgeted in the hard wooden stool she was ordered to sit on. She was quite confused by the sudden urgency that Sirius's parents possessed when they insisted they speak to her.

Whatever it was, she knew it couldn't be good.

A sly smile grew across Walburgas face as she opened her mouth to speak. As delicate as her features were, she knew the woman was one to be feared. Far more than Orion. The woman had a talent for spewing poison with just her words alone.

She was not one to be crossed.

"We have a proposition that may greatly intrigue you...that is, if you're willing to listen to us,dear." Mrs. Black finally stated, her hazel eyes gleaming much like Sirius's did when he was full of excitement.

Sirius defiantly resembled his mother, his delicate demeanor and bone structure. The way he smiled and glistened. That was all his mother.

But his father...she supposed that's where he got his anger from. That and his beautiful raven hair, of course.

"A proposition you say?" Scarlett murmured. Stunned at the very offer. Nothing from the Blacks came cheap...everything came with a price. The only question of the matter was how much. "What do you want?"

"Scarlett, my darling. I believe the question is rather, _what do_ _ **you**_ _want?"_ Walburga pressed, obviously up to something quite peculiar.

Scarlett shrugged, quite unsure at what her future mother in law was getting at.

"We need you to persuade Sirius to join Voldemort. Regulus isn't enough in his representation of this family. Another Black is needed…" Orion finally spoke, the tone of his voice sending chills up Scarlett's spine when he finally revealed the couple's true intentions.

Scarlett's eyes gulped, eyes wide in surprise. What kind of power did they think she possessed to be able to convince Sirius to such a horrible thing?

"Sirius would never…" She growled. Frustrated that she continued to be nothing more than a mere pawn in someone else's twisted game.

"We already anticipated you would say that...which is why we have a unique offer for you. " Walburga answered smoothly, "We would most graciously revoke this marriage arrangement... _only_ if you succeed in having him become a death eater."

Scarlett froze, the thought alone of being free to do as she wished with her future was enough to bring tears to her ice blue eyes. It was surreal. She couldn't believe that her future in-laws were so desperate to sway Sirius to their asinine and old beliefs. So much that they would be willing to give her freedom to accomplish this.

So _this_ was the reason they had wanted her to come over for Christmas. They wanted something from her, and this was it.

What more could she have expected?

Yet, the question still lingered; would she dare betray Sirius in such an awful way?

Or could she find the will to finally fight for something in her life? To finally not be everyone else's doormat.

"Go to hell!" Scarlett growled. Leaping off the stool and crossing her arms across her chest once more. She felt a sudden surge of confidence begin to radiate throughout her entire body. Igniting a blazing spark of confidence.

Walburga frowned,her hazel eyes darkened in a growing rage. Orion moved forward, his fists clenched tightly.

Walburga stopped him with her arm, moving herself closer to Scarlett. Suddenly her frown grew into a cheshire cat kind of smile.

Disturbing indeed that smile was.

"It would do you well, young lady, to keep watch of your tongue." The daunting woman threatened.

Scarlett gulped as she felt Walburga's cold and bony fingers wrapping themselves around harshly her cheeks. She felt herself hold her breath, suddenly terrified.

"A young witch in your stature must have surely realized her place by now." Walburga continued. Her grip tightening even harder.

Scarlett felt faint, she couldn't move. Her brief moment of boldness had been long forgotten and discarded. Paralyzed with fear she now felt completely helpless.

A feeling she was all too familiar with lately.

Abruptly there was knock at the door, causing Orion to grunt in irritation.

It was Regulus.

"What is it boy?" Orion boomed.

"Bellatrix and her sisters just arrived. I thought I would let you know." He stated, his own hazel eyes staring into Scarlett's ice blue ones. His face never showing the shock he felt inside upon seeing his mother nearly squeezing Scarlett's cheeks to death.

Scarlett finally let out a gasp for air as Walburga quickly let go of her.

"Go entertain them, I'll be down shortly." Walburga stated grimly. She stared at the quivering young girl before her. She winced when she finally realized what she had done to her hair, _blue_? It was unacceptable to say the least.

"You have a choice to make, Scarlett. **Don't** make the wrong one. And for God's sake _do_ something with that horrid blue in your hair! Just wait until I let your father know what you did to it! Despicable!"

Orion nodded in agreement.

Scarlett slumped to the floor lamely as Walburga and Orion finally made her leave, shocked and overwhelmed.

Defeated.

"Scarlett? _Scarlett_ , what did they do to you?" She heard a voice say.

She couldn't breath, her heart began to beat faster and faster. The whole world began to spin around her. She clenched her tightening chest.

"Scarlett, look at me!" Sirius exclaimed. Cupping Scarlett's slightly bruised dimples gently, analyzing the damage in horror. "I'm so sorry, Scarlett…" he murmured.

Scarlett shook her head vigorously, snapping herself out of her rampant thoughts.

"I-it's nothing Sirius...I just...spoke out of term." She whispered, allowing Sirius to help her up off the cold floor.

She could barely look Sirius in the eye at the moment. It didn't seem right. Keeping this from him, but what else could she do? She would only make Sirius's home life more miserable. She could never do that to Sirius.

"Nothing? Scarlett, she can't do this to you! **THEY** can't do this to you! I can take anything they throw at me...but this...this has gone too far!" Sirius boomed as they crossed the hall and into his own bedroom.

Scarlett heard growing chatter as more guests began entering the home for Christmas dinner. "Sirius, stop fussing! It's nothing!" She fretted, shooing Sirius away from her when he helped sit her on his bed.

"Just let me heal it!" He protested, grabbing his wand from off his dresser.

"If I let you, can you drop this?" She negotiated.

"Deal, now let me have another look!" Sirius grumbled, tilting her head gently left to right.

"Sirius, please. It's just a few bruises, nothing to lose yourself over!" Scarlett tisked. Avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"Hush up for a second, I'm a pro at these spells! Hold still!"

"Yeah...I know you are…" Scarlett murmured, finally plucking up the courage to look Sirius in the eyes.

"Besides…" Sirius chattered on, ignoring Scarlett's comment. "Mother seems irritated enough at the blue in your hair, don't wanna see her wrath when she sees everyone at the table looking at your bruises…"

"How outright _horrid_ of me!" Scarlett fake gasped. A small chuckle escaping her lips.

"Amazing…" Sirius muttered as he finished up his healing spell.

"What?" Scarlett asked, feeling her now pain free cheeks. Sirius really was good at his healing spells.

"That you can still as much as giggle after an encounter with my parents." Sirius chucked, finally finished with his healing spell.

"What can I say? I put on a good show!" Scarlett teased. She paused on the middle of her laughter. Astounded herself by the discovery they could possibly still work up a good laugh right now. She finally saw the point Sirius was making.

"Well, I suggest we go make our appearance. The show isn't quite over yet, my dear!" Sirius proclaimed, opening his door for Scarlett to exit first.

"Is it ever?" Scarlett murmured to herself, dreading having to face the Black family again.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Scarlett bit her lip harder and harder to correlate with her growing anxiety as she said in silence at the long, black polished table. She watched as Sirius was in rampant conversation with his uncle Alfred. She shifted her sight to opposite side of the table where she then saw Bellatrix and Regulus engaged in a deep conversation of their own.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she noticed Lucius whispering something into Narcissa's ear. She rolled her eyes on disgust as Narcissa giggled in response.

Andromeda seemed to notice Scarlett's irritation in an instant, she leaned forward just when she knew Malfoy and her horrid sister were looking their way.

"Scarlett, don't mind the stick up my sisters arse. It's probably so far up there she can't see straight!"

Scarlett nearly burst in a fit of laughter. "Goodness, I almost forgot there were few sane people in this family! How have you been?" She giggled back. She nearly forgot all about Andromeda, she was the most down to earth witch in the Black family. Never spiteful or full of hate. Not to mention she shared the same shame and disgust when it came to being a pureblood.

Andromeda's dark eyes gleamed when she smiled back at Scarlett. "Of course, Scarlett. Us normal people in the family must stick together!" She exclaimed with a wink.

"Absolutely!" Scarlett agreed, returning the smile.

Guilt suddenly emerged from deep within Scarlett. She felt ashamed for even considering she was part of this family. No matter how dark and twisted it was, it was still a betrayal if she went through what she was asked to do.

Outright selfish it was; to even consider pursuing her own freedom at the cost of Sirius's. She frowned, Andromeda had since turned her attention to her plate and now she was left with nothing but her and her own plate of food.

She gulped, she knew she needed to eat.

For herself.

For Sirius.

But yet, she couldn't allow herself to pick up the prestige fork that laid untouched and perfectly angled at the side of her plate.

The aroma of the perfectly baked turkey teased the tip of her nostrils. She could almost taste the gravy and mashed potatoes. Scarlett licked her lips when she felt her mouth begin to water.

Before she realized it she saw her hand trembling while reaching for the fork. It seemed she had given all control of her body to her needs. No longer her wants.

She screamed internally in protest, feeling herself lose the raging battle to leave her food untouched.

Her eyes widened in surprise when the mashed potatoes met her mouth. She hadn't tasted something so divine in ages.

Hunger took such firm control over her as she began indulging in what was once forbidden. Bite after bite she engulfed herself in the juicy turkey.

The corn, cranberries and bread.

Before she knew it everything was gone from her plate before she could even take a second to breathe.

Scarlett stared down at her empty plate in horror. Astounded by how much and how quickly she ate. She quickly glanced around the dinner table, trying to see if anyone had noticed her.

She sighed with relief, no one seemed to be paying attention to her. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the weight of what she had just done didn't quite settle right with her. Nausea suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt downright sick to her stomach. It just didn't feel natural to her.

Within seconds her plate had disappeared, along with everyone else's at the table. She saw Walburga and Orion had stood up from their seats, drifting everyone's attention to them.

"Shall we all go for tea in the living room and exchange gifts?" Walburga announced, her voice as commanding as ever.

Nearly everyone followed the couple into the living room, leaving Scarlett all alone at the table. She quickly pushed herself out of the chair, feeling more uneasy than ever.

Managing to dash past some unsuspecting future family members, Scarlett swiftly moved up the staircase. Nearly putting a whole in the wall as she shoved open the closest bathroom door.

Kneeling in front of the toilet she knew she had to get it out of her. No matter the cost. Scarlett knew she was wrong, she understood the insanity of her actions. But she couldn't possible live with the boulder like feeling she felt with it just sitting there in her digestive system.

Placing a finger down her throat, she forcefully gagged herself to have the food come back up. Coughing, it finally came up. Her throat burned as she felt all heaviness leave her body.

Tears started to roll down her face as continued forcing every bit of what she just had ate out of her. She gasped as she finally gave one last heave with all she had left.

She slumped down onto the side of the tub, weakly flushing the toilet. Ridding all evidence of what she just had done. She sniffed as she wiped the rest of the falling tears down her face with the end of her sleeve. She felt so ashamed and alone.

Scarlett couldn't believe what she had just resorted to. She just had a moment of weakness, right?

She hated the bitter taste it left in her mouth after throwing up. It was absolutely would never, ever want to resort to purging again to fix her mistakes. She needed to be more in control. She needed to get a grip.

How could she have stooped so low? How could she have allowed Walburga and Orion to bully her around? Wasn't the abuse from her father enough?

"The only thing I seem to be good for anymore…" she murmured to herself. Closing her eyes to take in this rare moment of silence and serenity.

Her heart weighed heavy, torn between her love and hate for Sirius. Twisted in her own selfish desires to make a decision for herself for once in her life.


	13. Chapter 12

**_"Secrets have power, and that power diminishes when they are shared, so they are best kept and kept well. Sharing secrets, real secrets, important ones, with even one other person, will change them."_ **

**_~Erin Morgenstern_ **

Remus's eyes burned as he stared fiercely at the blank parchment roll that was awaiting the weight of his quill. His mind had gone completely blank. It stunned him so much,being given a topic about the laws and regulations of becoming an animagus by Professor McGonagall. The particular subject they were now discussing in class had, _at the very least_ , spurred a sense of paranoia in Remus.

He could only wonder if this was some kind of message the Professor was trying to relay to him and his fellow Marauders or if it was simply just a stroke of chance.

 _Whatever_ it was, his talent for academics had long left him to suffer in a sea of mindless thesis statements. Robbing him of any way to start sensibly on his essay.

The gold in his green eyes gleamed slightly as they shifted elsewhere in the near empty library. It was then that he spotted a familiar blonde girl with blue in her hair.

Scarlett.

" _Scarlett_!" He whispered, trying his best not to raise his voice too much to cause havoc. A slight tinge of irritation arose in his chest when she continued her browsing. Completely oblivious to his attempts to get her attention.

"SCARLETT!" He finally exclaimed, tired of thrashing his arms about like an imbecile.

Remus nearly fell of his chair laughing when he saw how scared Scarlett was. Her hand clamped tightly to her heart, the books she was removing from the shelf had fallen to the ground with a loud _thump_.

Her ice blue eyes were wide with shock unable to manage a response just yet.

"R-remus…" she finally stammered. Astonished at how loud Remus just had shouted. She never had heard him raise his voice before, he was always so mellow and calm. It was completely out of character for him.

Remus chuckled lowly, motioning for her to come closer to where he was sitting.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing? You scared the daylights out of me!"

"Sorry...I was just trying to get your attention. Forgive me?" Remus whispered, pointing to the empty chair next to him for Scarlett to sit in.

"I guess I can...never scare me again like that again, you hear?" she threatened jokingly, "Or I'll have to hex the daylights out of you!"

Remus laughed lightly, "I'll keep that in mind...what were you looking for?" he asked.

Scarlett glanced at the books and blank parchment Remus had spread out before him.

"McGonagall gave us a huge paper due on the laws of becoming an animagus...a bore if you ask me…" She scoffed, exemplifying her agitation with the homework assignment.

"Boring? Strenuous, yes, but a _bore_...are you sure you're not mental,Scarlett?" Remus shot back, torn between whether he should be amused or offended.

Scarlett laughed when she realized how off put Remus looked, her laugh sounding like twinkling bells.

"Is that why you called me over here, Remus? To have me help you with this paper?"

"How could you tell?"

Scarlett smirked, "I just so happened to notice your blank parchment...and you've been here for hours, Remus. Didn't take a genius to figure that one out!"

Remus blushed slightly, taken for a brief moment at how observant Scarlett was. He had never taken her for someone who paid a terrible amount of attention to others. Everytime he noticed her, she always seemed to be a dream like daze. Lost and intoxicated in her own little world.

"Well...would you care to work with me on it?" he finally asked, determined now to use this opportune moment to get to know her better. She was, after all, his best mates future wife. He figured they would be entwined in each other's lives for a long time, so they might as well break the ice now.

Right?

"I do quite wonder why she gave us this assignment...this was something that was briefly taught in our third year..." Scarlet murmured as she opened her research book.

Remus nodded in agreement, "Third year seems like a distant memory…"

Sighing, Scarlett began reading from the book, " _It takes skill, practice, and patience for wizards and witches to become Animagi. The process of becoming an Animagus is long and arduous, and has the potential to backfire and cause the transformation to go horribly wrong_...Merlin...who on earth would want to risk all that to just become an animagi?"

Remus gulped, his nerves finally getting the best of him. No one in the school knew his secret...or his friends secrets for that matter.

Scarlett took a break from fumbling dramatically with the pages of the book, noticing the change in Remus's demeanor from the harsh words she just had spoken.

"Remus...are you alright?" she asked softly, letting her arm lay between the pages to mark her spot. Her brow raised slightly when she realized how uncomfortable Remus was getting.

Remus quickly nodded, "Yeah, yeah...just thinking about some things…"

"Like what?" Scarlett pressed, suddenly regretting speaking so suddenly. Who was she kidding? Her and Remus weren't that close...why on earth would he talk to her about such matters? "Sorry...didn't mean to pry!" she retracted.

"Nonsense! It's quite alright...to be truthful,I've actually been meaning to get to know you better. Especially with Sirius and you...you know…"

Remus's demeanor relaxed as he saw his perfect opportunity within grasp.

"Oh, so you know about that…" Scarlett murmured, her eyes shifting towards the floating books that were putting themselves away.

"Now I guess I'm the one who is prying…" Remus chuckled, "So, I guess we're even now!"

Scarlett smiled, "Yeah...I guess so…"

Suddenly the proposition she was offered flashed through her mind, dawning on her like a dark summer storm.

She frowned, dreading the weight of carrying this secret caused her.

"Have you ever had something...something so... _horrid_ , that you could never tell anyone about it?" she finally asked, finding herself gazing deep into his golden green eyes, looking to find some kind of comfort there.

Remus nodded, knowing the very feeling all too well.

"It's hard...you just don't feel right carrying it around with you...day after day…" she continued. Feeling great relief with every word she got off her chest.

Her worries flowed like a raging waterfall from her tongue, for weeks she had kept silent about the offer. She hadn't even told her best friend Lily , a true rarity. Yet, this year continued to be full of secrets and abnormalities.

Things that were once considered an abnormality were not considered nothing more than a common occurrence.

"I think...I think I can understand what you're going through...I really can." Remus assured her, reaching for her hand to comfort her.

Scarlett felt her hand jolt away, her fear of touch getting the best of her once again.

"Sorry-I just…"

Remus shook his head, "You don't have to apologize...it seems you're going through a lot this year...you can tell me-only if you want to of course!"

Scarlett bit her lip, unsure if she should continue or not.

She searched for the words to say, her mouth gaping open.

"I was given a proposition...one that I would do well to adhere to…" the words were suddenly blurted out.

 _Hold your tongue, hold your tongue…_ she screamed inside her head.

"What kind of offer?" Remus asked, his eyes widening with bewilderment.

"One that would ruin the rest of Sirius's life…" Scarlett stated heavily, the burden on her heart feeling heavier than it was before. It must have been the power of speaking those words into life.

Speaking such horrors outloud only made her feel worse, and she hadn't even given any details yet.

Remus felt himself stare vividly into Scarlett's blue eyes. He supposed it was his turn to be at loss for words.

His mouth opened, but before the words could come another voice broke through the silence.

"Moony! There you are! We've been searching all over for you, mate!" James exclaimed. His hazel eyes wide and glistening with excitement from behind his glasses. Completely oblivious to the pair's moment of private bonding.

Remus scoffed, "Since when have _you_ ever looked so hard for me? I'm the _bore_ of the group, remember?" he joked.

Peter squinted his face in confusion, "I thought I was the boring one…" he muttered. Surprisingly unphased by his own admission.

Sirius shook his head, "Moony...we have that _thing_ to talk about...remember?"

Scarlett held her breath, her nerves beginning to get the best of her. She hadn't made contact with Sirius since Christmas dinner.

She had been too ashamed...too afraid to even look Sirius in the eyes anymore.

How could she? Knowing she held the very key to his fate in her hands.

"Yes, Moony! The _thing!_ " James chimed in childishly.

Scarlett began to notice Remus's whole demeanor change.

Was it just her? Or had he been growing paler by the second?

She noticed the look of discomfort on his face as he excused himself from her.

Remus nodded faintly as he finished gathering his books together. He smiled sweetly towards Scarlett, "We'll catch up sometime, okay?"

Scarlett nodded silently, feeling her heart sink slowly as he walked away with James and Peter. Leaving her to her vices with Sirius.

"Were we interrupting something?" Sirius asked, his grey eyes full of curiosity. She felt his cool hand grasp hers. She smiled as she felt her heart flutter at his touch.

"We were just getting to know each other more...Remus is a good friend, you know?"

Sirius beamed, "Of course he is! I met him first after all!"

Scarlett could sense something was going on...something Sirius was keeping from her. Not that she had much room to protest her suspicions...but the question still lingered so close to her heart.

She remained silent.

Sirius stroked her hair softly, smoothing it behind her right ear. He hated that she allowed her hair to overpower the beauty of her face. It was almost like her own wall of protection.

A wall he had yet to find the purpose for.

Sirius hadn't known for sure if her eating habits had improved, he hated to admit. But, he hadn't paid much attention the past few weeks. All consumed with the worry over Remus's latest transformation that was bound to happen tonight.

He never vocally said it, but he made a promise to himself... and Scarlett; that he would put down the blade if it meant Scarlett ate again. He knew that as her future husband, he would have to care for her. Love and cherish her for the rest of their lives.

Yet, how could that possibly be done if there was nothing of her to love? Nothing but the shell of the beautiful girl he once remembered.

Sirius understood the issue ran deeper than her fear of food, much like his was more than just being empowered by the site of his blood flowing.

No, no it was much more than that. She was hiding something...but he was as well. At a standstill they both stood it seemed, until one fully trusted the other.

Scarlett's outside beauty had yet to completely fade. She still possessed her gleaming smile, her blonde hair as vibrant as ever. Her eyes still managing to conjure a sparkle every now and then.

But, Sirius knew she needed to change. He knew she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. Even if that meant committing a slow, slow suicide.

Sirius gulped, "Scarlett...I need you to do me a favor tonight…"

Scarlett's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, "A favor?"

Sirius nodded, squeezing her hand tightly as he continued to speak. "I need you to make sure you stay inside tonight. No running tonight."

"Why not? Is this because-"

"Listen!" Sirius pressed, interrupting Scarlett's protest. "Please! Just...hear me out! It won't be safe for you tonight! I can't tell you why...but-please listen to me! Promise me you won't go out tonight!"

Scarlett took in his look of desperation, she never seen him become so firm with her...not since the accident in the hospital.

" Alright, Sirius...I promise…" she gave in. She hadn't even planned on going for a run tonight. But, with Sirius being so dedicated to assuring she would be inside tonight. It only made her mind wander towards what he was keeping from her.

She sighed as she watched Sirius make his leave from the library. She dabbled in the thoughts of disregarding the promise she just made.

Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad? Could it?

0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Scarlett held her breath as she waited patiently on the stairwell for the Marauders to make their exit from the Gryffindor common room. Millions of ideas swarmed around in her head as she waited a few minutes to keep just the right pace behind them so they wouldn't detect her following them.

She cocked her head to the side as she finally brushed herself off. Deciding it was perfect timing to start tailing the boys.

She couldn't help but smirk to herself as she opened the Fat Lady portrait to the rotating staircases. This was the most excitement she had in awhile, and she intended on taking full advantage of it.

She knew people always said that curiosity killed the cat, but always felt the feeling of satisfaction brought it back to life.

She felt the cool surge of the midnight air brush against her cheeks as she finally made her way through the secret passage way the Marauders used to sneak outside of the school.

Scarlett clenched her coat tighter as she finally found her boots meeting the light layer of snow. Blinking quickly, she took notice of the bright full moon. The snow was light and airy. The dark sky full of shining stars. Everyone's dream of a winter night.

She took note of the series of footprints in the snow. She quickly began to follow them, seeing them lead to the violent Whomping Willow in the distance.

She noticed the farther along she went, the prints suddenly began to change. Shifting into several dispersed and animal like prints.

She recognized a large, dog like paw print.

Prints looking like they were from a stag as well.

And finally some that looked like a scurrying mouse or rat of some sort.

Her eyes narrowed as she made her way closer to the hazardous tree. Confused as to how the prints could have all of a sudden shifted to animal prints. There was no logical way in hell that could have happened unless-

"Scarlett Emery...would have never guessed you would be here tonight." she heard a voice sneer from behind.

She twirled quickly around, her boots squeaking in the snow as she turned. Grimacing when she discovered who it was.

Severus Snape.

Dark Arts and Potions obsessed Slytherin. A former friend of Lily, until that one particular day Snape let a rather foul word slip from his lips.

_Mudblood._

Earned him a black eye and Lily had never spoken a word to him since.

Snape had made his choice to succumb to blood supremacy. While Lily made hers to disassociate with a person like that. No matter how painful tearing that bandage off was.

"Snape...I could ask you the same question." she shot back. The greasy git was the last person in the world she wanted to run into tonight. And yet, here he was.

As conniving and snake like as ever.

Scarlett's ice blue eyes pierced Snape's black ones. Animosity filled the space between the two figures.

"Don't tell me Sirius told you as well." he finally chuckled.

Scarlett frowned, crossing her arms across her chest. "Tell me what, Snape?"

Severus laughed, "So the notorious Sirius Black did not tell you anything about this tree, huh? Interesting...I figured he would have since you two are... _oh so close_!"

Scarlett sneered, annoyance getting the best of her.

"What did he tell you? What kind of business are you getting your hook nose into now?"

Snape's jaw clenched, the nose comment had clearly struck a nerve in him.

"Apparently he grew tired of me always on their heels when it came to the famous marauders sneaking out once a month...so here I am...to get my answer."

"Well, good for you…" Scarlett muttered, rolling her eyes as she turned her gaze to the Whomping Willow. The tree remained still, moving only to shake off the built up snow from its branches.

She couldn't help but notice the door under the willow.

"I wonder…" she murmured.

Scarlett quietly moved towards the door, doing her absolute best not to make any sudden movements. She knew for a fact this tree could kill her with one swift move. It had to be gone about precisely and with a plan.

She let out a sigh of relief when she finally got under the tree, disregarding the dirt and loose grass on her pants as she struggled to get the door open.

"Emery, what the bloody hell-" she heard Snape yell, the moment he had shouted the tree began rearing his branches in anger.

"Snape, you twit!" she shouted, leaping up in the air as she clenched tightly to his hand. Yanking Severus harshly down unto the ground. Just dodging a large, spiked branched that came crashing down.

Both bodies crashed to the earth with a _thud_.

"You-Idiot!" she screeched, out of breath,"You nearly got us killed!"

Scarlett quickly swung open the door with all her strength, shoving Severus violently down the tunnel.

"Bloody hell, Scarlett. What gives?" Snape moaned, struggling to pick himself off the ground.

"Really? You really are the biggest arse in the bloody world! You almost got us killed!" she screamed, brushing herself as she picked herself up with ease.

Suddenly a piercing howl surged throughout the tunnel, Scarlett could almost feel the vibrations pulsing through her entire body.

"Merlin's beard…" she muttered in horror. She groaned, how on earth was she going to get out of this place?

"Well, _I_ , for one intend on finding out what is really going on here. You can do as you wish." Snape sneered, his shoulder brushing against Scarlett's as he made his way past her.

"Seriously? I just saved your life, and that's all I get? Not even a _thank you_?" she exclaimed loudly. Anger flooding through her veins.

Snape ignored Scarlett as he continued down the down the tunnel. His thirst for knowledge only growing more turbulent with each step he took.

Scarlett silently fumed as they two continued their way, biting her lip intensely. Her nerves slowly beginning to get the best of her.

Without warning, Snape flung his arm out to stop her from walking.

"What-"

"Stop, look ahead!" he hissed, pointing directly in the distance from them.

Scarlett felt dismay sweep through her entire body, making her suddenly feel like bricks cemented into the ground.

There it was, she saw a whimpering wolf figure.

"No...sudden...movement…" she whispered, slowly backing away. Fear soon griped her heart, and now that she knew Snape was rather careless; it seemed the best option for her was to abandon the tunnel.

Scarlett felt herself slumping against the cold, dirt walls. Sliding carefully backwards as she attempted to make her run for it.

Before she knew it the wolf had its ears perked up. A low growl was heard,tremoring throughout the whole passage.

"Bloody hell…" she heard Snape whisper to himself.

Scarlett was froze in fear, she couldn't move back anymore. She felt her pulse accelerating, throbbing against her skin.

The snarling wolf made its way towards the pair, showcasing its sharp teeth. It's brooding claws jagged and long. She couldn't help imagining what they would feel like against her skin. She felt her hand clutch her throat, it was almost as if they were already there.

Just when Scarlett thought all hope was lost she saw a stag like figure emerging from behind the vicious wolf. Knocking it to its side with its antlers. All of a sudden a large, black dog had appeared as well. Pinning the wolf against the secret passageways wall.

Scarlett couldn't believe what she saw next, the deer began galloping towards them. Within a flash the stag had transformed into James Potter.

"Potter, I knew-" Snape sneered, cut off quickly by being tackled by James to the ground.

James gasped for breath as he grabbed Severus by the collar of his shirt, eyes narrowed in an anger Scarlett never seen in the carefree boy before.

"I just saved your life, you twit! How the _hell_ did you manage to get here?" Potter demanded, his eyes shifting towards Scarlett next.

"And _you_ , did Sirius not warn you? Did you not _promise_ to stay away tonight?"

"I'm sorry...but-" she protested.

"No excuses, Scarlett! You both could have been killed!"

"So then why did Sirius tell me that I should come here?" Snape shot back, his own fury rising in his chest.

"Because you're a nosey prat who needed to be taught a lesson, always prying your large nose in other people's business." Sirius suddenly growled, shaking off his dog form.

Scarlett stared in confusion at the two marauders, astounded by the fact they were both full pledged animagus. Suddenly everything began to make sense.

"Why you-" Snape scorned, his fists clenching tightly.

"Scarlett, I thought you promised me...you shouldn't be here!" Sirius exclaimed.

"C'mon mate, we gotta get them out of here. Remus won't be out for long...and Wormtail is still scavenging the grounds." James intruded.

Sirius paused, understanding James was right for once. "Right…" he murmured.

"Come on you two...Dumbledore is going to want to know about this!" James groaned, pointing his wand towards Snape. "Go on, out!"

Snape grumbled something foul under his breath, allowing himself to be the forerunner in exiting the tunnel.

"How could you disregard me like that? You could have been killed!" Sirius exclaimed as they finally made their way out of the tunnel.

Sirius grabbed her hand, forcing her to move with him as they all got within a safe distance from the whomping willow.

"Disregard? Black, last time I checked you _do not own me_!" Scarlett seethed, yanking her hand out of his. "The only reason I was almost killed, was because of _that_ imbecile!"

She nodded towards the bickering James and Snape.

"Right...God, Scarlett. I never wanted you to know...it was never my secret to share…"

Scarlett nodded in understanding, Remus and his illness every month all became too clear for her now. It made perfect sense in fact. It seemed that was the reason he was so understanding of her situation, so forbearing of the secret she carried.

"I don't see him any differently...he is still Remus to me. Nothing can ever change that." she stated boldly.

Despite the intense fear she had when she was almost nearly attacked by Remus in his wolf form, she understand the difference between the man and the wolf.

Sirius smiled, pausing in his walking. He stroked her cheek bone lightly, "I'm glad you see it that way, love."

"What other way is there _to_ see it?" she uttered. The crisp winter air brushing through her flowing hair as the group all made their way back inside the castle.

She gulped as they finally approached the secret entrance to the castle.

Dumbledore was already waiting. His moon-like spectacles shimmering in the moonlight, his blue eyes twinkling like the stars. His white hair matching the freshly fallen snow.

"Severus...Miss Emery..."


	14. Chapter 13

**_"Men have wasted away before it, not knowing if what they have seen is real, or even possible."_ **

**_~Albus Dumbledore_ **

Lily Evans was never a girl to let love consume her entire being. She had always prided herself on having such a heavy guard around her heart.

Yet, James Potter had seemed to finally weasel his way into every inch of her soul. Shattering any previous animosity she had towards James. Certainly defeating that heavy wall she had worked so hard to build the last few years.

This hazel eyed boy who wore large rounded glasses managed to rewrite everything she thought she knew about people and relationships. Potter had shown her that people could truly change for the better. That one could learn to love, and be loved in return.

Never had Lily been so swept off her feet. She couldn't believe how ignorant she had been to how much James actually cared about others, how loyal he was.

That was until she had finally given Potter a chance to prove himself to her.

Lily imagined this last year of schooling couldn't have been more perfect, except...it wasn't. She just didn't feel right knowing something was terribly wrong with Scarlett. Sirius as well.

James had expressed his own concerns over his best mate with her in private one December day in Hogsmeade.

"He is always so distant, Lils. Always studying and stressing...I don't even know him anymore!" James had solemnly gruffled.

Lily turned her emerald eyes towards Scarlett's sleeping figure. Her friend's entire body was covered in bedding. The only sign of life was the steady up and down motion of the sheets. Lily had nearly gasped out loud when Scarlett finally strolled in at nearly three in the morning, her hands covering her mouth to prevent alerting Scarlett she had awakened.

Suddenly, Scarlett emerged from the covers. Her hair wild and frizzy. Confusion and drowsiness painted across her face as she smiled weakly at Lily.

"Morning," she grumbled. Huffing dramatically, she threw herself backward into her bed again. Closing her eyes, wanting nothing more to return to her slumber.

"Morning to you too,sunshine!" Lily giggled, tossing her spare pillow over. "What kept you out this morning?"

With a thump, the pillow smacked across Scarlett's face.

"Merlin, Lily! I'm outright exhausted!" Scarlett groaned, her voice muffled a bit from behind the pillow. "I think I'll just stay like this, this is nice. Relaxing even."

"Honestly,Scarlett. I would have thought you would've remembered what day it is!"

Scarlett sporadically tossed the pillow back to Lily's bed. Scarlett paused for a moment, trying to recall in her fuzzy mind what today was. Unable to come to come to a conclusion she simply shrugged.

"You got me there. What is today?" she finally asked.

"New Years Eve, silly!"

"Hmmm, why should I care?" Scarlett scoffed. "It's Saturday, my bed is calling!"

Lily leaped out of her bed, yanking the covers from Scarlett. "Get up! You are going to have fun tonight! Well, _reasonable_ fun!"

Scarlett shivered, the sudden lack of warmth the blankets had been providing her caused her to jolt awake. "Bloody hell, Lily! It's cold as ice! Besides, I don't want or need fun, it's childish!"

"You can't be serious, Scarlett! Everyone needs a bit of fun in their lives!" Lily countered, grabbing Scarlett's arm to yank her out of bed. "Besides, it's your own bloody fault you're exhausted! What were you doing out so late?"

Mumbling curses under her breath, Scarlett began searching for clothing in her dresser.

"I'm afraid, my dear friend, you will have to ask James about that." Scarlett giggled, "go on to breakfast, I'll be down later!"

Lily's bright smile quickly faded into a frown. Some things never changed.

"Fine, but I'm saving you some toast and jam!"

Lily shook her head, tucking a strand of her flaming red hair behind her ear. Deciding it was best to take the moment to find James while she ate in the Great Hall.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"I thought I'd find you here..." a voice stated, prompting Scarlett to look up from her books.

Scarlett had yet again scurried off to the library, the discovery of Remus being a werewolf sparking a great thirst for knowledge from within her.

Scarlett narrowed her eyes as she realized it was Regulus who was speaking to her.

"Regulus...what prompted you to come find me?" she seethed. She shuddered, it was like he was a living reminder of the task she had been asked to complete.

Regulus sighed, flicking his wand loosely. The chair pulling itself out upon the command. His hazel eyes were darkened, and his skin appeared to be paler than Scarlett had last remembered.

"I have come to see if you have an answer for my parents. They demand to know immediately!"

A scornful laugh erupted from Scarlett's throat.

"Really, Regulus?" They demand an answer?"

"You know it isn't my doing, Scarlett."

"I know it isn't, but yet, you were all too willing to harass me on their behalf!" she shot back.

Scarlett's fists clenched her irritation morphing into anger.

"You have no spine! Tell me, when is your initiation?" she added when Regulus had still not replied. The urge in her hand to grab her wand was all too great at this point.

Regulus shifted uncomfortably in his seat, this retaliation was not expected, to say the least.

"It's a simple yes or no, Scarlett. What will it be?" Regulus finally pressed in monotone. His surprise never showing in his body language.

"Then my answer is no! What a disgrace you are! You don't think I haven't realized you're the one who has been stealing the Founders prized possessions for you-know-who?" Scarlett hissed, slamming her book shut.

Regulus narrowed his eyes, dismayed by the accusation that had escaped Scarlett's lips.

"How dare you accuse me of such things! If you weren't a pureblood and to be married to my brother I-"

"What?!" Scarlett snapped."You'd have me turned over to your new master?"

Remus bit his tongue, keeping his own anger in check. He knew he must, for the sake of his future as a Death Eater.

"Regulus, what business do you have with this sorry excuse for a pureblood?" a woman's voice hissed venomously.

"Calm yourself, Bellatrix. We're just going over some family matters." Regulus answered cooly.

Regulus then stood up from his seat, "Well, I guess I will tell them your answer."

Scarlett nodded, her eyes now solely set on Bellatrix.

Tisking, Bellatrix moved swiftly behind Scarlett. Her breath feeling as cold as Scarlett knew her heart to be. The words that she dramatically whispered as cruel as a murder.

"I've warned you before, Letty, you would do well to learn your place in this world."

Defying all logic that screamed from her mind, Scarlett chose to listen to her angry heart. She quickly grasped her wand, pressing the tip of it intently at Bellatrix's throat.

"And you would do well to mind your own business. You don't scare me! You're nothing more than a bloodthirsty sociopath!"

Bellatrix laughed hysterically, disregarding the ready wand that was at her neck. A half-crazed smile arose from her blood-stained lips.

"Do it...I'm not afraid either!"

"You're insane!" Scarlett gasped, retracting her wand.

Bellatrix smirked, her body now relaxed. The insanity taking its leave.

"And you're still too soft..." she argued.

Scarlett scowled, "Being humane isn't soft!"

The dark witch shrugged, "You cannot run from the darkness forever, Scarlett. We will be blood soon enough. You can't distance yourself from your fate any longer."

And with that, Regulus and Bellatrix made their exit. Leaving a speechless Scarlett behind.

O0o0o0o0o0

"Scarlett! You little twit! I've spent all day looking for you!" Lily exclaimed when she finally saw Scarlett enter the Gryffindor common room.

Scarlett threw her hands up in surrender. "Sorry, Lils...got lost in the library again!"

Lily grumbled, dragging Scarlett with her to their dormitory.

"You are going to the party tonight! No protesting! And only one drink this time!"

"Lily, I don't want to go! The new year means nothing to me!" Scarlett argued.

Lily twirled Scarlett around, clutching tightly to her friends bony and chilled hands. Her sparkling green eyes meeting Scarlett's ice blue ones.

"Listen to me, you deserve to have fun! You deserve to celebrate with the rest of us! I want to see you smile again, Scarlett! Got it?"

Scarlett smiled, "I don't think I have a choice anymore, do I?"

Lily grinned as she shoved Scarlett back into the room they shared, "Absolutely not!"

Before Scarlett knew it, Lily had her thrown into a silky blue dress. It flowed beautifully as she turned around, inspecting the dress as she spun. She grimaced in disgust, who was she kidding? She still looked bloated and ragged. No dress or amount of makeup could ever change that.

Lily suddenly emerged from the bathroom. She had decided on a tight black dress that exemplified her curves, making her eyes as vibrant as ever.

A tinge of jealousy shot through Scarlett's heart, how come she could never be as pretty or desired as Lily? It just wasn't fair.

"You look great, Scarlett!" Lily gushed when she took in her handiwork.

Scarlett shook her head, "Absolutely not! You're just the belle of the ball!"

Lily rolled her eyes, "C'mon on then, we have some hearts to break!"

"You must be joking!"

Lily laughed as she opened the door, "After you!", she giggled with a bow.

"Why, thank you!" Scarlett replied, bowing in return.

"Do you suppose Remus is feeling better?" Lily asked as the pair made their way back to the common room. "James had told me he fell ill again this week, a rather constant occurrence..."

Scarlett gulped, truth be told she had no idea. Seeing Remus in such a state had plagued such a fear in her. Scarlett knew that it wasn't truly Remus, the wolf she had seen was something else separate from him.

But, still, it was hard not to be afraid. That and Dumbledore had given her and Snape a good lecture. Swearing them to secrecy. Never to tell a soul about what they had found that night.

"I think he should be feeling better today...maybe he will be at the party?" Scarlett murmured.

Lily nodded in agreement, suspecting the same.

The girls finally arrived in the common room, both pausing in their steps to observe the surroundings. Blue and silver balloons floated about, white streamers were also hung in all the corners and furniture. Other Gryffindors were merry, either dancing or drinking.

"You two look stunning tonight!" they heard a voice exclaim.

"James, where have you been all day?" Lily demanded as James nearly tackled her with a bear hug.

"Sleeping if you must know!" James chuckled, nodding as he silently acknowledged Scarlett.

Scarlett nodded as well, she knew James had been a bit upset with her the other night. But, after Dumbledore had reprimanded her, he had come around.

"How is Remus?" She asked.

"I'm fine, I appreciate your concern, really." Remus interrupted suddenly.

Remus indeed looked much better, his skin was no longer a ghastly shade of porcelain. His eyes no longer looked sunken and dark.

"Can I speak to you, Scarlett? Alone?" he asked, offering his arm to escort her away.

"Of course," Scarlett replied, accepting his arm. "I'll be right back, Lily, alright?"

However, it seemed her assurance fell upon deaf ears. Lily was too immersed in James swooning her. The giggles of her friend suddenly grew faint as Remus and her moved to a more vacant area.

"I hope...I hope what you found out doesn't change anything..." Remus finally said, breaking the ice.

Scarlett shook her head furiously, "Absolutely not! Remus, I may have been frightened but this doesn't change who you are!"

Remus sighed, he hated who he was. Having his friends justify the monster he was only made him feel worse.

"You don't have to lie, Scarlett. I know it must have been horrifying."

Scarlett tightened her grip on Remus's arm, "You listen to me, Lupin, and you listen to me good! You are not a monster! If anyone here is, I am!"

"You, how?" Remus scoffed.

Scarlett took a moment, closing her eyes as she prepared herself to unveil a truth that had such a hold on her.

"You know that offer I spoke to you about the other day?"

Remus nodded slowly, unsure where this was going.

"Sirius's parents made me a deal...if I get Sirius to join you-know-who...I can be free from having to marry him..."

Remus's eyes widened in surprise. Too taken to have immediate words.

Scarlett felt panic emerge, she knew Remus would be disappointed in her once he knew the truth. But, never had she imagined he would take it this hard.

"Say something, Remus...please!" she whispered.

"Don't you love him, though?" Remus questioned, folding his arms across his chest.

"I-I think so...but...the pressure is unreal...I told Regulus I wouldn't do it. But...who knows what will happen once they find out what my answer is…."

"You know...I think I know of something that may be of some help...if you're interested?"

Scarlett's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, "You do? What?"

"There is a mirror in a place called the room of requirement, it's called the mirror of erised...it shows you the deepest desires of your heart. I think if you took a look at it...you may have a clear picture of what you want…"

"A mirror...the room of requirement…" she murmured to herself, dwelling upon the thought of seeing the manifestation of her deepest desires right in front of her. She couldn't help but ponder, what would she see?

Her mother?

Sirius?

Herself?

"It's located on the corridor on the seventh floor, just walk past it three times while thinking very hard and clearly about what you want...and then a door should appear," Remus advised Scarlett.

"Remus...thank you! I don't even know what to say…" she whispered, embracing Remus warmly.

Remus jolted in surprise as Scarlett embraced him, taken by how grateful she was. "It was nothing...go for it and see what it shows you."

"I will...thank you again, Remus." she whispered, letting him go.

Little did the two know, there was a figure watching them from a distance.

Sirius Black stood in an eerie silence as he watched Remus and Scarlett speak. Stunned to see Scarlett take Remus in a rather affectionate embrace. Something was going on, and he was determined to find out what. Sirius moved like a cat between people as he followed Scarlett out of the common room.

0o0o0o0o0o00o0o

The corridor was chilly and dark as Scarlett made her way through the seventh floor. Nothing but a few torches lightened the way for her as she continued further, doing her best to keep her heart rate down.

A strange surge of excitement had begun to travel through her body as she adventured to the mysterious room of requirement. It must have been the fact that the mirror she was soon to encounter would reveal to her the truth. Something she could not determine for herself.

She finally spotted the wall, "This must be it…" she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes and visualized what she was seeking as she began pacing. She clearly saw the mirror in her mind, despite it being more difficult because she had never seen it before in real life. However, she knew its name and purpose.

In her mind, she saw herself looking into a large mirror, stroking the golden edges with her fingers. Scarlett could only imagine what she would see when she looked deeply into the enchanted mirror. From what she could tell, she envisioned herself being happy for once. Beaming with a bright, white smile. Finally content with herself.

She figured maybe even her mother would be at her side, tightly grasping her hand.

Never letting go.

Scarlett opened her eyes, surprised by the newly placed door in front of her. She held her breath, grasping the cold handle. She slowly opened the large door, impressed by how effortless it seemed to conjure the room up.

As she entered the room, she immediately noticed the gold frame of the mirror gleaming in the moonlight as she proceeded with caution towards it.

Scarlett braced herself as she moved in front of the large mirror. She noticed the words _erised stra ehn oyt ube cafu oyt on wohsi_.

Scarlett tilted her head to the side, tracing the letters with her fingers. Starting from the end to the beginning.

" _I show not your face, but your heart's desire…"_ she read to herself out loud. Her eyes then fixated on her reflection. As her blue eyes stared into the mirror, she began to see her image shift.

It was nothing like she had visualized earlier, she suddenly saw herself twirling around with Sirius.

"Sirius?" she murmured to herself.

Scarlett saw herself in a wedding dress, beaming with happiness. She was laughing, glowing even. Sirius was booming with laughter as well, his smile something she had not seen in awhile.

It was...beautiful.

Scarlett felt her face, a smile seemed to be growing there. A _real_ smile.

So this is what her heart had truly desired? To be with Sirius? Married after all? Despite everything, the world had seemed to press against them.

Who would have known, that an arranged marriage...could be one that was destined to be full of love.

Yes, it had appeared that way. This mirror didn't tell lies. It revealed the truth, no matter how beautiful or ugly it was.

The truth was the truth, and that was that.

Scarlett couldn't seem to peel her eyes from the intoxicating mirror. Mesmerized by the images it displayed to her. She took a seat in front of the mirror, finding it was much more comfortable than continuing to stand.

She placed her hand childishly on the mirror, her longing for what she saw becoming all too great.

Scarlett saw herself and Sirius beaming right back at her, the love that was oozing out of the mirror created such a longing in her heart.

Lost in her own world, Scarlett never even noticed Sirius slowly approaching her.

"Scarlett?" he asked softly, placing his hand gently on her shoulder.

Scarlett's eyes fluttered, "Huh, Sirius?" she muttered.

"What on earth are you doing here?" he asked, extending his hand out to help her up from the cold floor.

"Remus told me about it...the mirror...it helped me see something. Helped me see _us_." She explained, joy flushing through her cheeks. Scarlett grabbed Sirius's hands tightly, "Sirius...I saw us in that mirror! We were happy and married!"

"It showed you your deepest desire, Scarlett...it doesn't mean it's going to happen...Scarlett, that mirror has driven people mad!"

"But, that's the point, Sirius! It showed me what I desired...I never knew myself better until now...it means I want _you_!"

Sirius paused, seeming to finally understand what she was explaining to him.

Scarlett couldn't stop shimmering with excitement, forgetting all about the offer she had refused. She knew now she had made the right decision. She finally understood what she had to fight for.

For them. For justice and all the things that were good.

"Sirius, don't you see? When we finally marry do you understand what kind of message that would send? To our parents? To the whole pure-blooded world? We can change things, this world that is growing so dark...so evil...we can be the light. Together we can! I know it!"

Sirius smiled, dumbfounded yet moved by her words. Sirius had to admit, this whole year had awakened feelings that had been in a deep slumber.

The truth of the reality was all too clear now, he loved her. And she loved him.

Before Scarlett knew it, Sirius pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I love you…" he whispered in her ear.

Those three words he had spoken, held so much power. It was almost too much for Scarlett to grasp. Right now, nothing else mattered. The world stood still and only spun again when they said so.

Scarlett pulled herself away from his embrace, "Our parents can't know...they would do anything to make sure we couldn't go through with the arrangement if they found out how we really felt."

Scarlett didn't see the harm in leaving out the fact his parents offered her a way out, at the cost of his freedom. She didn't see the need to burden him with such knowledge. Especially now that she fully realized what she had desired.

Sirius nodded in agreement, taking her hand as he lead her towards the door.

"Should we get back to the party?" he asked.

"Yes, Lily is probably looking for me now." Scarlett giggling at the thought of Lily going frantic once again in her absence. "By the way...what made you follow me?"

Scarlett stared as Sirius curiously as he guided her out of the room of requirement, interested to see how he came to finding her.

"I saw you speaking to Remus...and I saw you hug and-" he started.

"And you got jealous and followed me? Right?" she teased.

Sirius blushed in embarrassment, hating to admit that he had been a tad envious of Remus and Scarlett growing closer.

"I'll take that as a _yes_. Sirius, Remus is my friend too...you are just going to need to learn to share!"

Sirius laughed, his bellowing laughter echoing throughout the hallways as they walked together.

"Share? Darling, he was my best mate first! _You_ learn to share!"

Scarlett chuckled, shaking her head as Sirius muttered the password to the Fat Lady when they finally arrived back to the Gryffindor common room.

It seems there had been a new tide of events for the couple,Scarlett couldn't help but finally manage a true smile as the two entered the party once again. She couldn't take her eyes off of Sirius as he went over to greet Remus and James once again.

She took a glance of Peter dancing with some girl. Reminding her of what she had seen in the mirror of erised.

For once in her life, Scarlett felt excited about the future. She no longer saw it as a dark and ominous cloud. It seemed it was something of a new horizon. Giving her hope and peace for the future.

There seemed to be only one thing that stood in her way.

Her father.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone! I'm so sorry this took so long to finish! Please forgive me! I also apologize for the cheesyness and blehness of this chapter. I don't like how this came out but for the sake of the story I needed it done! :) If you like please review! Thank you so much for everyone who have followed and reviewed this story so far! You all are very much appreciated!

_**"Cause it's almost like** _

_**Your heaven's trying everything to break me down** _

_**Cause it's almost like** _

_**Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out"** _

_**~ "Far from Home" by Five Finger Death Punch** _

 

There were various shades of pink that covered Hogwarts from the astronomy tower down to the dungeons. Sounds of girls giggling echoed throughout the castle as Scarlett strolled through the crowds.

 

She couldn't help but clutch her books tightly to her thumping chest. Valentine's day has always given her a horrid case of anxiety and this year was no different. Scarlett moved her fingertips to feel the heart-shaped note that peered from between the pages of her potions book. Despite the oddity of her and Sirius's relationship, they had both gotten to a place where they mutually believed in the love they had for each other.

 

However, when she had awoken to a sparkling, red heart left on the top of her bedside table, Scarlett was left in outright surprise. Sirius was the very last person she would have expected to create such a thing. He had never struck her as a man of many words, always making his thoughts and feelings known with his actions.

 

When Scarlett had opened the note, she was most stunned to hear harp music fill the room as a series of heart bubbles surrounded her in a dance. A most endearing enchantment it was for her as she had gasped in astonishment at the site. So much so, Scarlett had nearly forgotten to read the message. It had seemed Sirius wanted to meet her for a date in Hogsmeade, much like the normal couples at Hogwarts.

 

Scarlett couldn't help but smile as she made her way to the garden area outside, the thoughts in her head swirling round and around.

 

She never imagined she would end up actually loving Sirius. The same man she was being forced into marriage with.

 

"God has the most twisted sense of humor..." she murmured to herself. Scarlett squinted her ice blue eyes slightly as her face suddenly met the sunlight. Shivering, she clenched her coat a little tighter. The crunching sounds of snow melting beneath Scarlett's boots made her grimace as she made her way to the white frosted bench.

 

Reaching into her school bag, she searched for her wand with her fingertips. With a twirl of her wrist, the snow blanket was banished from the area she wanted to sit in. Placing her wand to the side, she made herself comfortable on the cold, wooden bench.

Instead of finding herself lost in a book, she felt her eyes begin to stare at the birds fluttering freely about in the crisp blue sky. The black birds all flying in a circular motion around the barren tree tops, squawking in delight.

 

Soon she felt her mind begin to wonder towards her father, probing the question if she should even allow herself to grow closer to Sirius. The trauma of her father's rather...fondness of her had made her quite bitter and distrusting. Even with her feelings for Sirius being genuine, doubt couldn't help but plague her mind.

 

Scarletting nervously began biting the corner of her lip harshly in worry. The worries she had worked so hard to suppress suddenly came rushing back in.

 

His insults.

 

His touches.

 

His total control of her.

 

She felt panic flush through her motionless body as more rampant worries shot about like a gun that had just been fired.

 

_What kind of wife would she be for Sirius?_

 

Scarlett felt so impure and tainted.

 

_Would Sirius even want to touch her after he knew how filthy she really was?_

 

She blinked, gulping silently as she began to stare into the sky once again. The wind sporadically breezed through her long, blonde hair. The birds that were once chirping about merrily had since disappeared into the horizon.

 

Her stomach groaned, screaming for something to eat.

 

Sighing, Scarlett reached for her wand once more. With a more elegant swish of her wrist, she had managed to conjure a glass of ginger ale. Her favorite appetite suppressor.

 

Quickly gulping the bubbly ginger drink, she finally felt full and settled. Satisfied with the treat, Scarlett made the glass disappear in a flash.

 

Within seconds, she heard Sirius's booming voice in the far right distance.

 

"Damnit, Regulus! If you don't get that mark out of my sight, so help me God!"

 

"You already knew this was happening,Sirius! Stop pretending like you expected otherwise!"

 

Scarlett felt her eyes widen in shock as the two arguing so publicly. She took in how red Sirius's face was becoming. How pale his tightly clenched hands were turning from the lack of blood circulation.

 

The breath was all too visible between the brothers as they stood before one another.

 

Scarlett couldn't help but hold hers as she felt her heart begin to race in anticipation.

 

Regulus suddenly smiled eerily as his hand began to reveal a most disturbing image as he pulled back his sleeve even more than it already was.

 

The haunting symbol was bewitched in black ink and shaped like a skull. A deadly snake was slithering about through the eyes and mouth of the deathly head.

 

Fear suddenly pumped through Scarlett's veins as Regulus continued smiling at his brother.

 

"This-" Regulus stated, "this is what happens when one accepts their fate I suggest you do the same, Sirius."

 

And with those words said, Regulus left Sirius in a mist of a growing angry tornado.

 

"Regulus!" Sirius growled loudly, "don't you dare walk away from me like that! We're brothers...blood! Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"

 

Regulus slowly turned his head back around to face his scorned sibling. A small gleam of sadness shimmered through his black eyes as they met his Sirius's own dark eyes.

 

"Soon...you'll be no brother of mine..." Regulus finally answered darkly.

 

Piercing silence erupted as Regulus made his exit. The decision he had made eternally finalized.

 

Scarlett couldn't help but feel a magnetic pull erupt from within her body to comfort Sirius as she disregarded her bags on the bench as she made her way towards him.

 

Carefully calculating how to approach Sirius so she wouldn't startle him, she slowly placed her delicate fingertips on his tense shoulder blade. Urging him to turn around and face her.

 

As Sirius turned to face Scarlett, his black eyes met her ice ones. A moment of silence between them was birthed. The silence seeming to act like a mutual mourning for the brother Sirius had just lost.

 

Sirius opened his mouth to speak but was met with Scarlett's finger on his lips.

 

"Please, don't speak." she pleaded softly, "You don't have to...I just-I just want you to know before you blame yourself that it's not your fault. You fought so hard for him for many years, Sirius. There was nothing else that could be done for him...he made his choice."

 

As Scarlett took a break from her speech, she suddenly found her fingers naturally entangling with Sirius's.

 

In that moment she wanted to show him it was finally her turn to be the comforter.

 

To  be the protector.

 

To show Sirius she was there for him no matter the situation.

 

To say she would no longer be selfish and self-absorbed.

 

"He made his choice...", she repeated. "Now let's make ours!"

 

This time, it was Sirius's turn to be the silencer as he gently brought her close to his chest. He felt a pit of sadness grow in his heart. Not just for his brother, but because he could feel Scarlett's fragile figure from underneath his embrace.

 

The fact that she was so warped in everyone else's issues that she couldn't see her own greatly bothered him. And he still had yet to fully understand the reason why she treated herself that way she did.

 

Such a simple question it was; _why_?

 

Yet, the answer still remained a not so simple one.

 

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 

Sirius sat in silence on his bed as he contemplated the choice his brother had finalized. He glanced at his watch and came to find that it was already 4:00 p.m. He had planned his date with Scarlett to be at 5:30 p.m at Hogsmeade today and definitely did not want to be late.

 

But there were so many emotions and so many words left unsaid that his mind could not settle and create the mindset that he needed to have an enjoyable evening with Scarlett this Valentine's day.

 

Biting his lip harshly, he felt a familiar satisfaction in inflicting pain upon himself that the intoxication completely engulfed all reason in his mind.

 

Forgetting about the promise he made to Scarlett and knowing how much it would tear her up inside, Sirius frantically searched for the sharpest object he could find in his side drawer.

 

Murmuring an unlocking spell, he lifted the wooden plank that hid his sharpest knives from his fellow marauders. He reached and pulled the one he desired. Not caring if anyone walked in on him, he began tearing away at his own forearms.

 

Each cut deeper than the last.

 

Each cut more satisfying than the last.

 

With every stroke he made with his blade, he felt the overbearing sense of shame and guilt leave his body. Slowly he felt his fingers grow numb and his mind began to drift to a farther off place.

 

As Sirius clenched the outskirts of his bedsheets to lift himself up, he found all his strength had left his body. When he finally had managed to get himself off the ground, he started stumbling about in the room, accidentally dropping the bloody knife in his confusion. Sirius felt his thoughts run rampant as he suddenly realized the damage of what he had just done when he saw a hazy view of the blood spattered on the wooden floor.

 

Eager to clean his mess up before anyone found him like this, Sirius stumbled about till he reached the bathroom door, “Dammit…” he hissed when he stubbed his toe on the front side of the door.

 

Yanking the door open, he breathed heavily as he found the strength to walk towards the bathtub. Sirius finally sighed with relief as he realized he was in the clear.

 

In his haste he failed to notice how damp the floor had been and he suddenly tripped over his own feet. Hitting his head violently against the edges of the tub.

 

Knocking Sirius out cold.

 

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 

Meanwhile Scarlett was completely preoccupied with her nerves of the date she was soon to have with Sirius. She found herself having a strange sense of nerves formulating within the pit of her stomach.

 

 _Butterflies_ , she thought to herself. Something she never thought she would experience.

 

As she treaded through the icy snow. She couldn’t help but smile to herself through the glass windows as she made her way to Three Broomsticks.

 

As she entered the bar, her eyes laid site on an empty booth in the far corner that had a single candle lit. She found found it would be the most romantic setting for the two.

 

When she made herself comfortable in the booth, she glanced at her own watch. Scarlett sighed with relief, she had made it with fifteen minutes to spare.

 

Methodically her fingertips began drumming the table top in anxiousness while she waited for Sirius to arrive. Scarlett glanced about at the other guests, the aroma of the greasy food made her nose cringe with disgust. The site of seeing people eating it made that feeling of abhorrence even worse.

 

She didn’t know if she felt comfortable enough having a meal, or even an appetizer. Or even a drink for that matter. But, she wanted Sirius to know she was dedicated to bettering herself and to be the motivator for him to get better.

 

She knew he would give up the blade if she picked up the fork.

 

 _It’s the least I can do,_ she thought.  

 

Reasoning with this musing, she finally plucked up the courage to pick the menu. When she opened the laminated parchment, she saw the words begin to magically appear as they informed her of all the drinks and specials they had this evening.

 

Scarlett’s eyes quickly avoided anything she knew was fried and quickly found where the salads were listed. Deciding on a regular salad and a glass of water was something she could live with. Putting the menu down, she sighed with relief. Glad to have that decision before Sirius had arrived.

 

She knew that is Sirius saw the hesitation and panic on her face, it would only spark questions and concern. And Sirius had enough to worry about without having to fret about her eating habits once again.

 

Never in James life had he ever experienced such as traumatic image as he had tonight as he had careless entered his dormitory that him and his fellow marauders had shared. Never had he gone from laughing loudly to screaming in agony so fast.

 

The site of Sirius knocked out cold in a pool of his own blood in the bathroom they shared was an image he would never be able to forget. Luckily James had Remus there to support Sirius’s body as they rushed him to the hospital wing.

 

“Madam Pomfrey!” James shouted.

 

“Madam Pomfrey!” Remus shouted as well.

 

“What is is dearies?” she asked, a look of confusion was on her face as she looked up from the bedside of a first year she had been tending to.

 

“It’s Sirius, he's had a horrid accident!” James boomed.

 

“What kind of-” she started to ask, but upon seeing the site of Sirius’s arms covered in gashes and bloody scars as she approached the boys was enough to make her drop the glass bottle she held in her hand immediately. The potion she had in the bottle going up in smoke as it hit the stone floor.

 

Ignoring the shattered glass that was left behind on the ground, the Madam quickly whisked her wand out to levitate Sirius to an open bed. “What happened?” she shrieked.

 

James just shook his head, shakingly finding himself a seat beside the bed.

 

“We don’t know…” Remus finally answered softly as he removed the fabric he had torn from his cloak to use it as a tourniquet for the main wound that was nearly pouring out blood before he stopped it.

 

The truth was Remus had a pretty good assumption of what happened, but he wanted to give his mate the chance to explain himself before he made any accusations.

 

Poppy couldn’t mask her look of astonishment and hurt as she began healing the deepest wounds Sirius had.

 

“I figured something was wrong with him this year...I just never thought it would be something like this…” James muttered angrily.

 

“Shoo, shoo!” Madam Pomfrey finally ordered, “I’ve got him now, you two are not allowed back here until tomorrow morning! Is that clear?”

 

James leaped out of his seat and had his mouth open in protest but was met with Remus holding him back.

 

“Leave it be, James...there's nothing more we can do here…”  Remus stated lowly.

 

James groaned but nodded in agreement, casting one last glance of worry at his fallen best friend before turning his back with Remus to leave the hospital wing.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! FINALLY UPDATED! I hope it wasn't too bad, believe me I am still working on this story! If you enjoy this story please review and let me know what you think! The more reviewed and feedback I get, the quicker I update! THEY MOTIVATE ME! And thank you so much to those that have reviewed! I really appreciate it! AGAIN PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Thank you!


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